Death by phone

So, here I am..months later at working killing some time before it's time to call it a night. Shaking my head at what the day has brought and the many buttwipes that have come my way. Why do people act in such nasty manners when it comes to something simple like their phones? I have seen some of the worst sides of the human nature unfold with a sentence of "I'm sorry but yes, this will cost you fifty dollars to replace". But aaa..such is life..waking up to the unpleasant causes people to tap into their inner devils and unfold a lashing so severe only to struck by reality. It is what it is, you need to grow up, and deal with the ramnifications of your decisions. At least, that's my motto, do what you want, scream all you want, sucks for you buddy. Be nice, and I'll see what I can do, I was going to do it anyway but now that you're acting entitled...hmmm...

Anyway, this not only applies to the vengeance of people on their property but anything that impedes the comfortability that they have operated in. Today, the crapshoot blew to the roof when schedules had to be changed to reflect equality amongst all workers when "the favored" did not speak to some of the workers because we upset the "natural order". Gossip groups started flourishings, warnings expedited, and quarreling springing up with the mention of one comment. Yes, drama!! Oo, the drama between "the reporter" --the one who reported the unjust scheduling to the "responder"--the one who decided that "I ain't dealing with you witches no more" (lol). Finally, the team leader decided to actually do what he's supposed to do which is lead and started working towards a resolution while I'm caught in the middle. MM...some of the stuff that happened made me nearly jump out of my skin but hey at the end of the day we all just have to step back, reflect, and see if all the hullaballoo is really worth it. Because as much as the "reporter" said she didn't care what the "responder" said..she does..because all her assertions of "I'm ok, I don't need to talk to her"..really translate to "I miss the community we used to have and I wish it was back the way it was before I said something". All that near up and down swearing that everything's ok assured me that as much as we say "we don't care about all that stuff" that it's actually deeply important to our emotional well-being.

So, whatever you swear "you don't care about" ...just step back and be honest with yourself for at least one moment of the day and admit quietly to yourself that you DO care and that it does matter. It's quite liberating and after admitting that to my nemesis aka my team leader, it felt very cathartic...like and ole time baptismal in the river cleansing me from my past. It is what it is..it's in our human nature to care. So death by phone..not likely..but truthfulness revealed..finally. And with these thoughts I close my night.

Goodnight friends,

Island Gal

Frikkin Fabulous: Why I don’t believe in Love!

So, I ran across this book today on my quest to endlessly explore the internet till I die. And I was SO THRILLED beyond measure! FINALLY, two women who are preaching against the idealistic delusion of “marriage”. Now, before you start drawing conclusions that I have some deep-seethed emotionally repressed issues which are expressing themselves as a strong disdain for “marriage”, let me explain myself. It’s not that I don’t believe in marriage, I do. Rather, I despise the notion that women see themselves and are seen by others as incomplete and/or lacking until they have that coveted ring on their finger implying “till death to us part” or till “the next divorce papers are filed”. I actually think that “till death” still works as long as you don’t marry a butt-wipe or the next best thing to “shield” yourself from societal and internal pressures you exert on yourself.

I think my exceeding excitement and satisfaction in finding this book greatly stems from the fact that for four and a half years of my life I spent it in super-conservative country. A place known for it’s marriage farm ideals and it’s divorce rate. It is as if it is better to carry a string of broken hearts as coveted medals of honor then to confess that you are single and happy. I actually got scoffed at and laughed at publicly for confessing such a thing. I was perceived as a feministic ball-chopper, sick delusional, going against the natural order of GOD (whatever the crap that means). I was meant to be barefoot and pregnant making some man his dinner. Really, I’m quoting here. Yes, as much as I wanted to shove a stick up their cracks, I pitied them to the core of their (not mine) existence. That you are that lonely and dissatisfied with self to subject yourself to a delusion that is so costly, I have no other sentiment but deep pity. I have deep reverence for the Man upstairs and yes someone can be single and genuinely happy and satisfied with life. I love how some claim natural order while they’re the first in line for Botox injections..mmm...

But back to the book, “How to Marry the Wrong Guy”; it’s a guide to help you navigate the challenging terrain of mating. Many women get stuck in unhappy marriages because they get married out of expectation, comfort, convenience, loneliness, and just selfishness. It’s time that we firmly grasp all the freedoms our ancestors fought so hard to afford us. The only person that can make the choice for happiness is YOU! I strongly believe that now more then ever.

So my two cents, actually forget that, 98 CENTS to this discussion is: “DO NOT forsake your current state of life for someone who cannot enrich it more than it is now.” My dad (gotta love him) told me “Christie, here’s the deal. Don’t marry NO MAN that gives you less than I can.” Mind you, he sacrificed his personal retirement savings to send me to school. His sacrifice for me and my personal happiness blew my mind, and has set a significant standard when it comes to love and marriage. It’s not about the dollar amount but the amount of sacrifice the man is willing to do that makes him genuinely happy w/o requiring anything back (and I do the same! It’s not only about me, ya know). Yes, I know it’s crazy! But wouldn’t it be great if this actually was so?

It’s not impossible! I have witnessed it firsthand (by ppl other than my dad :-)So heads high! Work on yourself and do not succumb to the voices who spread such foolishness causing much sadness and down days. We have the power to be happy regardless of what the world says is required. The happiest people on earth have learned in the absence of their wants that life..life is so much more than all these “requirements”. Life is to be discovered, to be reveled in, to be searched and seen everyday with child-like vision. Life is a blessed adventure waiting to be embarked on.

So happy trailing,

Christie a.k.a “Island Gal”

Great Beginnings

Well it's been seven months since I made that on a "whim" decision to move to the DC. With one decision my whole life was packed into a truck driven through inauguration traffic to the heart of Shirlington to start a new life. A new life began on the promise of independence, fulfillment of dreams, and self attainment. As great as my aspirations were so much adversity attached itself to my new quest. From losing the job I moved here for to staying in limbo for months because of Visa processing complications and the rough patch the economy is going through to now working as a customer tech. Beach vacations and road trips interspersed as with my housing situations since I've been through four moves in the last seven months! Craziness! Can you blame me for craving stability? Seems like things are slowing down but now I wonder how I'll be able to stay in the country since I don't have a job that I'd like to get sponsored through. Well, I'm happy to have a stable living situation (or so it seems) and life seems to be winding down. Seems like lots of people are going through beginnings and so am I. Five years ago, I just moved to the States knowing no one really and now this is my freshman year in DC grownup life.

So here's to initiation into my new phase of life,

Cheers,

Island Gal

technology sidenote:

Just trying out these new technologies. From ChaCha, Gubb.net, Evernote to Posterous. What I like about what these products promise is the cross platform functionality. So new beginnings for my laptop, internet presence, and mobile.

Here's to new beginnings

Christie
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Posted via email from islandgal's posterous

Sexy Co-workers

Ooh what a whirlwind week it has been! From showing up late for work at my new location because we got lost, to having a customer come in and say his phone number had been hijacked by people from jail *loco*, to learning the importance of sign language. Lord, you know it's been crazy but good, stressful but enjoyable. Every hard experience is a learning opportunity for the next. Taking my apples and making some yummy apple pie (instead of complaining "how do you like them apples, ey?). Well......well.....well (*insert church pipe organ here + dramatic black preacher inflection*) MMmmMmm..so it's a nice environment to work in but what got me all up in a mini-semi tizzy is one of my co-workers. He's a very nice man, tall, athletic-looking, well-dressed, happy and sweet. He's a good conversationalist and boy...because he actually LISTENS (acting like what I'm talking about is super-interesting) and has something intelligent to add plus his dreamy Euro accent and physique isn't helping a sister to stay in professional mode--aka-- we cool ppl's but keep it work! It's not like I'm detecting anything, for all I know some other woman is all up on him in his down time but hey, it's a cheeky daydream fancy. But I really need to get over my *work crush* soon, sure nothing will happen, he'll become a jerk, and soon all those dreams will fall off the face of daydream earth at the discovery of some horrendous flaw impairing my David (not his actual name--he has a sexy name though--but referring to the sculpture. When you think a name's sexy (that is common) then you know you *mini-infatu-sprung*--> infatuatingly into a person --this detour from the regularly scheduled programming only last but so long. Hhahahhha..oo the simplicity of humans. Well, I'm enjoying the crush au courant--I'll let you know what broke the "spell".

ttyl Sassy Island Girl

Sue me!

Lightbulb moments have been hitting me like mosquitoes feasting on a bloody fiesta. And I'm loving it! The central point of my revelations is "I am, who I am, so sue me". For years, though I might come over as a tough determined (yet sweet :-) cookie, I tried to appease people in some ways so that they wouldn't feel akward or wouldn't see me as that. Now, I'm like screw that! It is what it is, and if it isn't for you--move on! NO MORE, people pleasing, I don't NEED to be the center of attention, I don't need to be the focus of a new group, racking up friends like shot glasses at a frat party, having "bff" talks and revealing my soul to a bunch of strangers in an attempt to make them realize "I'm on of them". That crap tends to hit the ceiling and then when it's used against you, you'll be crying "I thought we were friends". I don't deny that true friendships can be formed in such situations but rather emphasize the point of embracing the moment and richly enjoying it for what it is. Not overcomplicating it but relishing sharing a common human experience. If you are so blessed to forge a seasonal or lifetime bond out of it, great stuff! That's the second big lightbulb moment I had: Live truely in the moment and don't sweat the details constantly. The Man upstairs is taking care of all that. Do what's in YOUR power and leave the rest up to Him. Whatever happens works out for your good somehow. Believe it and you'll start treasuring the hard experiences in your life even.

anyway..let me know your thoughts... signing off Christie

Footsicle

So, yeah I wrote about Ugly Joe and one of the guys who this archetype was based on confronted me about it. He called and did the "we need to talk" voice and I was like SATSUMI Roll! I was like..hmm...I think he got to the post. Karma is a beast! Anyway, after an interesting car conversation the air was cleared and the dust settled...He's actually a nice dude and had no ulterior motives. It's interesting what not following your gut instincts, listening to girlfriends, and endless teasing will do to your perception. I knew not to read into it but somehow took the road well-traveled by us women to the land of "concocting something that isn't there". Thank God, he was very nice and humble about it and after apologizing profusely over and over explained that because I thought he WAS this archetype I had a strong knee-jerk reaction but now that we are both in the clear of friends land, I'm good. I'll try to focus on the positive experiences I've had with men but in general though there are a number of jerks walking around. DC has served many a surprise, bc there are some nice men but honestly after my last idiotic bum-rider Sam encounter (I'll elaborate later) I became somewhat embittered against "menkind". Sorry boys! Thanks to my friend for not making the conversation about my blogposts akward. Still have a slight sink in the ground moment feeling but this Too shall pass. Another story for the kids and an interesting growing point.

till next time folks--just to recap--> nice guys who are purely friends still do exist. Contrary to popular belief.

Reflections on UJ

After doing some cathartic soul searching and reading, a eureka emotional moment dawned on my spirit. I was always intrigued why UJ annoyed me so much. Trust, there are many things I dislike about him but may be able to overlook wasn't it for the fact that I realized that he's trying to change me into the package he perceived I was or wants me to be. I know he's physically attracted to me but in many of our interactions he brings up that I need to calm down or do this or that. He wants me to fit this picture HE has of the "perfect girl" he wants. So, all this nonsense doesn't concern me as much as it concerns his emotional needs and disconnect from reality. As I've said before, you CANNOT change a person. This is a task best left for the Divine and maybe the people who bore/took care of this person. Cause Lord knows, I ain't got time for that anymore. Thanks Daddy! (read Dating 301 post). This realization about UJ's emotional disconnect brought much peace to my soul because he just bothered me and I didn't know why. It irked me so much to the point of just wanting to squash him emotionally. I guess it's ingrained in the human spirit that we do not want to changed but accepted moreso lovingly understood and appreciated for the quirks that makes us..us and not someone else.

So UJ, I have a message for you. You like an illusion of me, a figment you've created but not what I am.You need to take some time and realize that this person doesn't exist and abandon ship on whatever type of lame "strategy" you were trying to concoct. Leave it alone...let it die..PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU! Because it irks this girl you're trying to "go after" and causes you much more discouragement than if you took the time to see that the one for you is not me.

It's ok, I've been there but I'm learning to let go and let God bring into my life the man who is what my spirit has been desiring. Because we (that man and I) are cut of the same cloth but YOU happen to be of a different textile.