Sue me!

Lightbulb moments have been hitting me like mosquitoes feasting on a bloody fiesta. And I'm loving it! The central point of my revelations is "I am, who I am, so sue me". For years, though I might come over as a tough determined (yet sweet :-) cookie, I tried to appease people in some ways so that they wouldn't feel akward or wouldn't see me as that. Now, I'm like screw that! It is what it is, and if it isn't for you--move on! NO MORE, people pleasing, I don't NEED to be the center of attention, I don't need to be the focus of a new group, racking up friends like shot glasses at a frat party, having "bff" talks and revealing my soul to a bunch of strangers in an attempt to make them realize "I'm on of them". That crap tends to hit the ceiling and then when it's used against you, you'll be crying "I thought we were friends". I don't deny that true friendships can be formed in such situations but rather emphasize the point of embracing the moment and richly enjoying it for what it is. Not overcomplicating it but relishing sharing a common human experience. If you are so blessed to forge a seasonal or lifetime bond out of it, great stuff! That's the second big lightbulb moment I had: Live truely in the moment and don't sweat the details constantly. The Man upstairs is taking care of all that. Do what's in YOUR power and leave the rest up to Him. Whatever happens works out for your good somehow. Believe it and you'll start treasuring the hard experiences in your life even.

anyway..let me know your thoughts... signing off Christie