Sassy Island Gal : The Journey Beyond

My own Encourager

2011-04-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

(one out of the archives- but a good one)

I got my own pint-sized encourager in the form of a little Ethiopean man who can barely speak much English but is a happy little soul.He came with the new studio I'm living in as he's the ground manager for the little complex I live in. He loves to chat whenever he gets the chance. It's just so funny to see what I been running away from is what I get. What I mean is- this man is a superencourager. He keeps telling me in the little bits of broken English he does know to be happy regardless of circumstance. If this isn't funny..I don't know what is. So many places I've gone, so many words, so many books, it keeps flowing forth. Be happy regardless of circumstance. He kept saying "Be happy- God happy, morning happy, night happy, you go back your country-happy, you stay here be God happy." His point was to be happy and give thanks to God regardless of what happens.

Short code

2011-04-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a minute...but my mating adventures continue :-)

Chapitre A.D. 25 "the Satellite colleague"

writing soundtrack: "Motivation" by Kelly Row., "6 ft, 7ft" instrumental, and "Till the world ends" by Britney

Being back home has been a blessing and crazy journey. Happy God brought me here though it's been challenging but He's using it to grow me so much. Anyway..let me get to the juicy shhh.

The set-up
Just another Monday walking into the workplace and I see three men from another island walking in and hugging all the girls. The girls are being all flirtatious and just frisky as they are used to. I roll my eyes again..bc I'm like where does work appropriateness start? These guys come from these locations and they straight macking on the girls like it's their right. I "shop" through them and I'm like mmm too short, too dreadlocky, too overweight. But then I see this guy who I shall refer to M come in and even the "evil" team leader turns like a little girl and gets a big bear hug from him. He's nice, comes over genuine, and has a boyish thing to him. He's tall which I LOVE...has a cool style, and an alluring bravado. My body was like..*DING* hahahhahahahahah

Meet-Cute
So I come into the office and starts unpacking my things to start my day. He is walking around and talking to our tech guy etc. At some point, the team leader introduces me to him. It's formal and just ... but I was kind of envious of her when she used to call him and others at our sattelite Helpdesk and just yap. And I just wished I could also participate. The team leader tells me who he is and such. And I'm like cool...but he's not checking for me yet. I had just received a new company laptop and needed it to have it set up so I asked our tech guy and he was like...well it's your "lucky" day- M is the one who programmed the whole thing and is the one who can give you the rights. I smile inside- hihihihi.

He was a bit busy but he was nice enough to tell me that he'd be with me as soon as he's done. I'm just fanning myself because I'm getting hot flashes and I still got 40 years till menopause - LMAO!!! After he took care of some things, he comes over and starts with the laptop. He didn't have a chair so he was on his knees at my desk and had his full delicious chocolate arm leaning on my lap without any hesitation. I was a bit shifty but he was very cool and collected about it which impressed me because it could've been very awkward. But he was so sure about himself, and leaned in even more at times like all over me.

The Words that stuck
Somehow we started talking DC, hip hop, and the state of music. Well that was the glue that started making thing sticky and hot. I could tell he immediately got even more interested, and couldn't believe his eyes and ears that there was a female version of a person who knew what it was about Hip Hop. He showed me the making of "6ft 7ft" beat which now I do realize is pretty "sick". Aah..then the dawn of the "googly" eyes came and I had to laugh. Our conversation tinged with flirtation started entering that dangerous territory where my other colleagues would notice that chemistry is starting to fire between us. They did notice though and when I stood up to go get something at the shelf and he turned all the way back to watch my rear, another as I call him "jealous" co-worker remarked "M, I thought you only checked for thick girls". He retorted something back which I didn't completely understand and kept the conversation flowing.

By the end of the day, it was on for me. When I was in his way he would gently put his hand in the small of my back and was so careful to say excuse me. Oooee...when an attractive guy gently puts his hand in that place...I don't think they fully comprehend what that does to a woman. His touch was so tender...I could melt. #movingon

Numbers Galore
Ha..well at the end of the day he could've stayed or took the plane out but he kept saying that if he didn't have anybody to spend time with *cough* around dinner time that he'd take the next trip out. I could feel his gaze and I'm like..#ohwell. Speak ye clearly or I dost not knoweth what you speaketh about. I did the quick ok Byee!!

O help me..
Hahha, well the thing about it is that he's the direct IT'er who is over all our systems so I have to interact with him if something goes awry. So dialing that direct line came way too easy and we struck hour long conversations over something that he fixed in 5 minutes. Oo I was DEF getting the co-worker *side eyes* and *mmmmhmm's*. Then I was called out by that dagnabbin' team leader saying "if you and M don't stop flirting!"- I was like uh uh...I'm not flirting, I'm just doing some collegiate friendly sparring #thatsall. Like I believed that myself. To which she responded that we should be working and not wasting time. When he heard that first he said to "f*** her". I had to laugh but then I said I denied flirting and he said "um...yes..we are definitely flirting" and I'm like aw dammn. YOU dun ruined my bubble!! hahahahhah

We've had regular contact and most of the time he stays stretching out the conversations and I'm like okeyers... Because sometimes he gets me in a bad mood or real sharp because I'm so busy and he gets all touchy about it. En fin, we have nearly all of each other's contact info and we bbm on the regular. The tension is escalating and he keeps referring to me as a "good one" and that's why he doesn't care if I catch him on his personal phone or work phone. I'm like ok...what's that supposed to mean but don't care to break my head about it. I let him pursue when he's in the mood for it which has been more often. We talk so informal and during the day and late at night. No...there is no webcam and sexy stuff involved. It's still very playful.

The Crescendo (in my head)
Honestly, I want to get this over with. He's a fantastic guy to talk to and his touch is tender. But we have an ocean that divides us..yes....that's a glitch in the fantasy. I don't travel anymore every month to there. And I don't know when my next work trip is. He asked when I was coming over but hey...I'm not spending extra coin on anything that's not concrete or clear. I doesn't bother me that things are taking their time. Whatever, honestly I'm more interested in a nice passionate fling and get it out of my system and move on. Which is why maybe this hasn't been allowed to happen. Saved M another "woman is trifling" story and myself maybe another "D'oh" moment.

But we'll see ....till his next bbm..hahhahaha..

Signing off,

Me..

P.S : the sunglasses have meaning. It's a symbol of him.

Digging Dirt

2010-09-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

I wonder. Should I feel bad for this or not? I know somewhere in my closet of Integrity and Character I maybe shouldn't be spying on my prospective boss but hey you left a cookie trail. I just followed. Lol. Well as some of you may know I moved back to the Islands. The journey has been crazy at times but great overall in terms of learning. I definitely needed this time on Bonaire. I've learned so much and reconciled so much of myself that I had lost.

But back to the Boss story. So I am in the process of interviewing and all that. I am one to research everything. Yeah everything! If you thunk it, high probability that I've Googled it. Google Search is an extension of my brain. I've officially claimed it as an extraneous organ. What would I do without Google?

So I talked to a prospective boss, and he was telling me all sorts of stuff. Well lo and behold when I was searching stuff on Google that his profile shows up. Mm mm mmm...I get his Linked In, and even some pics he obviously tried to delete yet Google still has indexed. Aaah.. *giggles*

John Stewart face to my "findings". *Giggles*
umm...let me make sure I'm square on Google.

Toodles!

Sober : The Evolution of Christie

2010-08-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

[ Defined] :

not affected by a chemical substance (especially alcohol)
cause to become sober; "A sobering thought"
grave: dignified and somber in manner or character and committed to keeping promises;
sober up: become more realistic; "After thinking about the potential consequences of his plan, he sobered up"
drab: lacking brightness or color; dull;

1. It's been three weeks. Withdrawal is a mud puddle. Seriously! I joined @NaturallyJazzy in her quest for freedom from every negative thing that enslaves us. I gave up alcohol, swearing (even in my head), every form of negative thought and speech, and my own fears. The Journey has been enlightening, instructive, frustrating at times but very liberating. I don't like admitting it but I had made alcohol a coping mechanism the past months (before Tabula Rasa). The mounting stress with immigration, joblessness, finances, and other personal issues made my mind feel like it was bursting at the seams. When I did drink (during the weekends) I downed drinks like they were juice. If a drink didn't savor strongly I'd be put off from it. I sought the mellow feeling which only magnified my problems. Some imprudent decisions were made that I still regret. I had vowed before never to let alcohol become my crutch. Yet I feened for it like I feened for chocolate; in this case chocolate isn't bad. Alcoholism claimed two great-uncles of mine and the thought of becoming a dependent scared me. My conscience was constantly screaming "Red Flag" when it came to alcohol. Now being home with my parents who run a "dry" household- it's been tough at times. Like last Sunday when I walked past the alcohol isle staring at the Jose Cuervo Gold longingly wishing I could savor a sip or two. But as Providence would have it my Dad spotted me and told me "gal ya best walk past there quick before ya get tempted and fall." *sigh indeed- wisdom at its finest*. However, withdrawal feels good. Sounds twisted but it does. I know my body is losing its affinity for a substance. A great development in my case.

2. Sobering Thoughts
How I've been running my life for the past year has been fun but now sobriety has kicked in. Some of my actions made other people bear my consequences. I don't regret staying in the US as long as I did. It was great and I met some great people that God had orchestrated for me to meet. However, the financial debt I incurred is partly being paid with the assistance of my parents. A very sobering and humiliating thought. Here they were preparing to go into retirement mode and I drop into the scene botching things up. I know they are so willing to help though it puts their dreams on a backburner and this bothers me (emotionally). I was supposed to be helping them not vice versa.

Being home on an island with 11,000 people really slows down your pace. There's little noise and distraction. I'm mostly home. Forget that, I'm nearly always home. My spirit gets to speak to me without much "noise". I hear my fears talking, my insecurities reaching, and my confidence swole up like a peacock. A very interesting mix indeed. I've already had a mini-breakdown but I needed it. I'd been walking for years with a type of invisible defense protecting myself since I have no family in the States. My family were strangers who became friends. Within secure and comfortable bounds- my psyche has the allowance to deconstruct without judgment or criticism. The progress I've made is fantastic. I've learned to see my confidence outside of any variable. I was reminded of my immeasurable worth. Of the fact that no one could denigrate me without my consent. I hand someone the power when I decide to let what they say affect my self-esteem. Great lesson indeed which could not be achieved without sobriety in substance and thought.

3. These developments have led me to be more realistic while broaching realism with unlimited belief in my potential. Sobriety doesn't have to be drab. I think that's one of my great fears. The thought of losing my playfulness in life simply gives me the heeby-jeebies. Sobriety is assuming a new level of responsibility. Of leaving a type of selfishness in action behind and strongly considering the consequences of ones actions on others. Of packing some more parachutes and while at it pack a wilderness survival kit. Not just jumping out the plane in good faith and hope I land right.

I hold these truths to be self-evident. Confidence is key but so is a carefully thought out plan. Yes, caution needs to be thrown to the wind at times but this isn't the best M.O. for life. Guess I'm getting that grown-up responsibility anyway. Though I'm in some type of weird "emerging adulthood" phase as called by the NY Times.

I leave you with their conclusion

“To be a young [American] today is to experience both excitement and uncertainty, wide-open possibility and confusion, new freedoms and new fears,” he writes in “Emerging Adulthood.” During the timeout they are granted from nonstop, often tedious and dispiriting responsibilities, “emerging adults develop skills for daily living, gain a better understanding of who they are and what they want from life and begin to build a foundation for their adult lives.” -NYTIMES "Emerging Adulthood"

I guess it is true. Good things come to those who wait or have their dreams delay. Maybe it's not a delay at all but divine providence to grow, mature even more, and leave a more uplifted person.

Playette

2010-08-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

I need to stop playing with this man's emotion just because I want to be entertained. I met him..well no he came and met me at Blue Martini Lounge in West Palm Beach. He brought the jokes and magnified the good times. He had me laughing so hard, my cheeks hurt. He was so gentle and kind. My interest piqued. Especially since I was looking for entertainment before I had to face the music of leaving America- the land I love-the next day. We spent the time dancing and acting silly. The lackluster club started getting visitors because of us. The DJ got hype and spun some more urban/reggae stuff for us to dance to. It was blissful- exactly what I needed for that moment. Him being a pleasant addition to the Bliss. He entertained me and my friend with his quick wit. His friend was gentle and too cute despite the gold teeth. His "thug" image and the personality didn't quite fit (regarding the friend with gold teeth). He quite frankly looked like the dude's manager or body guard and he might've well been.

He's a comedian by night, a trainer by day. He had just finished his show at the Comedy Club next door and walked past Blue Martini and saw us. Decided to make acquaintance. There was no hesitation in his step. My friend makes us take a picture together. He gets all hugged up, his presence is non-threatening, I indulge him with a boo'd up picture. We stay acting silly and he keeps checking if I'm OK. He's not aggressive and stays in speech away from sexual innuendo. It was refreshing compared to all the dudes ready to stay rubbing themselves against your back. We end the night. They walk us back to our car. We're hugged up walking back and still laughing. I'm just about my own happiness at that time. It's nice to have a suitor who pursues but is gentleman like the way through. We keep talking at the car and it's entertaining. Then he keeps making comments about how come I'm single and talking about me in terms about being his wife. Both my friend and I were like..."WHoooOAA Buddy". This seems to be a common occurrence though. Guys claim me hard before I receive the Memo. It usually puts me off but he's so entertaining that I let it slip by. I can feel his connection to me is way deeper than I have to him. My insides stir with sympathy. He's on ocean level while mine is as shallow as a water puddle on asphalt. I pity him because he just walked into a closed door. He just hasn't realized it yet.

I know what I want out of a man. I know myself and I know I can't force a connection with person. I know who's for me and who isn't. This man is a great Mister Right-Now but not Mr. Right. Back to what was happening at that point of the night. He nearly well no he swears his undying allegiance for the rest of his life that he wants to prove to me he's a good man. I'm like, aww.. He's like "you know I make jokes but I'm pretty mature though." I say "well I could sense that because if you weren't I wouldn't have given you the time of day." Aa..I know some of you think I'm brutal...but I'm just brutally honest so there is limited space for confusion.

We kiss. Bliss continues because if he was bad pretty sure night would've been over asap.*chuckle* He's a fantastic kisser. I'm happy in the moment. No flicker of future just now. He said he wishes he could stay in this moment (aka my mouth). I'm like hmmm...ok...Give me my lips back lol. Now he's really puzzled why I'm single. He's like you're a great kisser, you say you know how to take care of a man, cook, and do all that. Why in tarnation are you single? Aahhh...they don't get that I could be with someone but I don't feen like that. I want to be with someone I'd like to spend the rest of my life being just who we are- no striving or pushing. A connection so simple, so easy, yet so intriguing that I'd like to explore it and build on it for the rest of my life. While I'm single I use my time well to build up my arsenal of adventures, skills in the kitchen and home, and more :-). It's not about being alone but learning to be fulfilled within myself. I truely can say I'm so happy with myself and the roads I've traveled. Some diversions could've been skipped but I learned so much. The after-effects of those moments gave me so much in terms of maturity.

So my friend coaxes him into driving me to the airport. My friend is crazy. I'm like...umm..I don't know if this man is a serial killer/rapist. He picks me up in the morning. He's all shy and ten notches down from where he was last night. He's nervous. I can tell. He keep bringing up having five babies. I'm like ain't no five babies coming out of this. And why we talking babies. We are just getting to know each other. He pumps up the music at times to fill the time. I just feel that it's so adorable ( as in isn't it adorable how the cat is trying to ploy away with a toy). He wants to connect. He knows he's on borrowed time. I'm leaving the country for an unknown time.

We pull over to a gas station. He comes by the passenger side and kisses me again. I push him away pretty quickly. He's trying to relive the "magic" of last night. He says to me to not forget him. I told him "you have my email and I'll send you my phone number from down there but I refuse to make any promises that I might break." He confesses that he hates being single. Red Flag my friends. More like a referee of soccer red card then a blaring red siren. I can understand it for him. He's the type that loves serious committed relationships. He's at that stage in his life. And I think men like that can recognize wife types which I am but I'm not the one to attach myself to every mookie that makes googly eyes at me. Unfortunately for him, I'm not there. I guess I'm still in my "playette" years. It's fun to have someone to entertain me at times but not someone who's going to pull deeply out of me. No, I keep finding my heart rejects that connection. It's not that I'm not open to it but I guess my ying hasn't found its yang yet.

We get to the airport. He helps me with my luggage. He emphasizes wanting to be remembered. Maybe he knows he has fierce competition. He wasn't the only one within these two days asking me to promise my undying devotion. We hug, make out a bit, and I say good-bye. A fun page about to be turned over as soon as I enter the airport. He hangs unto the moment like it's destiny. I see it as a fleeting cloud. Pleasant to look at but so fleeting. I text him when I get home and thank him for his kindness. He responds. In one text calls me baby. I hate being called baby. It implies a closeness we haven't broached yet. I tell him that and say that I hope he's not offended. I can def feel the withdrawal in the next steps as he calls me by my name and says that it's ok- and that he's old enough to deal with my wishes. End of conversation.

In me, though I know it's so fleeting, I want to text him and talk because honestly I'd appreciate some type of distraction right now. But I know it's not good for me and definitely not good for him. I'm already subtly breaking his heart. I really don't want to make it a habit of leaving a trail of broken hearts. A new guyfriend of mine were laughing about how we play the same game. He's like with how you do and what you say- you must've broken a lot of hearts. I don't think so but it might be the truth I refuse to believe. I'm just honest. Some things are moments, some are mistakes, some are pleasant memories for the future and I faithfully believe for the marriage of forever.

For now, I'm on a moment leading to forever. I pray for the casualties of the journey.

Smooches,

Sassy Island Gal

Bye, Bye, Sigh

2010-08-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Rome that fell

My friends, My comrades, My loved ones

In the middle of Convolution. The place of detachment. Ignoring the pain steadily invading. Breathing up, Thinking up, Minding up! Life is Perception. Forever is Fiction. My Soul Eternal. The glint of self-realization expanded exponentially suddenly snatched from my Reality.

What is this? [It feels like] Incomplete haunts my steps. Slowly coming unto me like an Attacker. Pouncing away what I want to achieve. Just when I'm climbing to the top of Babel- I spill into a new dimension of Confusion.

Hope doesn't escape me. I believe therefore I am. I'll be blessed to fail. I don't damn myself. Queen of Reinvention. Cleopatra ain't got nuthin' on me. Lemons cry for me. I got that Sugar. Bitter tastes Sweet. So what? Oh well!

This ain't no setback. It's a Springboard. I dive deep. Shallow ain't known me. So why you cryin'? I aint dying. Yeah it cuts but it isn't that deep. Yes I bleed. My soul aint steel. But I'll be damned to stay pitying.

I Pause. I let the Present rain over me. My Soul will miss its ties. Your presence strapped around my neck. Carrying me dapperly into a new Reality. It will be well. Next time you see me, blink I'm gone.

Yet I live on. You know they can't keep me down.
It is what it is. But it will be what I want it to be.
Perception is key

Much love,

Christie

My Immigration Debacle

2010-08-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

So for all my concerned friends- here's what's going on.

I've been here under a student VISA for near six years which included a year work VISA. The immigration system is awful to legal immigrants so I can't just call or pay for a Green Card. I have to be sponsored by someone. A job or person can sponsor me as an employee. The application is about $320 but there's the lawyer processing fees which are up in the thousands. The cheapest I've heard is $1500 plus VISA costs. This would tie me to the employer for three years unless I paid the costs. Well since I haven't worked since February that's not an option. I invested all my money in grad school which gave me a work VISA too. However, I wasn't able to find steady employment in that first semester rendering me broke. Had I found a job in that time I would've kept paying school and had a work VISA to keep working under. Now that I finally have a job offer- my VISA is ending. The crazy dichotomy of my current state. So it's messed up- "purchase" on through school by paying 3k every three months or get sponsored by an employer which gives me more stability.

I appreciate prayers! If anything- I'll go home and if I get a new VISA. I'll be back on the ASAP.

Keep praying! I appreciate it all!!

Much love,

Christie

Falling UP

2010-07-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Where the Wild things are...
That's where I reside
Post up to the Horizon
Running free
Unabashadly me

Victory my currency
Truth my relief
God my need
As I keep running free

Wow, release is so mesmerizing. I am so blissful in the moment I thought would devastate me. The stress is finally gone. Sometimes your worst fear is the best thing that can happen to you. I kept praying to God as I kept believing in Him less and less each day to spare me of my fear. Yet the greatest blessing that He gave me was to let me go through this. I've realized the most important thing He does with humanity is give us a new perspective, a new amazement at life. To see beauty in the ugliest of times or things. What I think should happen in life is too simplistic an answer to the beautiful complexities of life. Simplicity tends to not intrigue me as complexities do. What has come out of my journey is a more complex view of what God really means. The ridiculous modern cliches many keep spouting are just self-delusions to keep them from seeing how complex life is. If life is that complex, why did you even think that your Creator would be that simple? Look at how intricate the world is. How complex yet deliciously sumptuous it is to the senses. If your "faith" is so shaken when someone challenges your belief then your belief is of no value at all. God is in the details. God resides everywhere. Once you understand the character of someone, you will see it everywhere. I have learned wisdom, I have gained life lessons, and a freedom from fear. I see testimonies of Truth all around me. This is what true belief in God is about. I give over my flawed way of thinking to be endowed the complex mind of Christ. Yup, the situations that sought to break me, the things that diminished my belief, the situations which ebbed away my faith made me into a believing Christian. No hell damnation preacher could ever get me to this point. Life and trials showed me the way. Running away, I ran right into heavenly expectation.

Faith is a journey.
The Journey of an imperfect being grasping the concept of a perfect God.
Perfection is not what I think is fair- it is what the One who created it is.
Only the Originator can understand the full picture.
The creation can only understand the lines.

It speaks for itself

2010-07-06T11:25:00.000-07:00

The definition of Insanity

2010-06-30T00:14:00.000-07:00

Doing the same thing over and over expecting the same results- but that's what got Edison to invent the necessity that is the lightbulb. After his 10,000+ try he got it right. I'm sure he tweaked his approach each time but he kept at it. Hmm..I'm in the same situation of sorts. I have tried every avenue to stay in this crazy but enjoyable country still no dice. This whole America being in a recession really sucks bricks for talented internationals to obtain a job. So I'm on my way out unless magical things start happening and I get a job, a new apt (bc I just let my lease go), and a new VISA. Ahhhh..minor details to Jesus if He wants it done...so I hear..or believe?

But I'm SO HAPPY I pushed through every barrier and impossibility till now. I have no regrets except some credit card purchases I could've done without (lol- I was SUCH a shopaholic). Those attractive sales are the devil to me. However, after going through all the tumultuous times of being unemployed for four months- I am so grateful for all the lessons I learned. For all the trials I went through, the humility I gained, the priceless wisdom received- I walk away so satisfied and happy. America- you have given me the precious gift of a more seasoned maturity. Í'm grateful for life. Maturity you can't buy that, can't just build that- it takes some straining and testing life experiences to transform you. My soul is happy- completely at peace with the course of events.

I'm happy to walk away a more stable, sincere, and seasoned adult. Who can ask for more? Out of such sour lemons came the sweetest lemonade :-)

Peace & Love

Christie

Rivers, Eden, & Battlefields

2010-06-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Some love like a flowing river, some like the private sanctuary of Eden, others like a broken battlefield. Discover the form of your loving. Tis the beauty of life to appreciate the intricate beauty of the heart of loving someone. We all love so differently.

Dedicated to Rome that fell

My lovely new friend showed me through her stream of loving that I am a barriered sanctuary. My arms outstretched to help yet when it comes to a man- he will have a time where he will need to persevere to get within my Eden. Eden is my deep emotional ground. The place where nobody but God and I dwell. So many try to get in yet this city still stands. It's not that I'm hard, siddity, or maybe I held unto the hurt of broken trust too long. I refuse to afford another round of broken heart, broken expectation, brokenness of my will, brokenness of mind. A broken spirit who has to gather the last girth and mirth she has within her to survive. I love hard, and I love unconditionally- so for you to break me like that and walk away- I don't have time for trifles. If you come with honesty and seriousness- I will answer to it and gradually open passage. Key word is gradual, I've jumped before and busted my face too many times. The little naive girl grew up, she learned to guard, she learned to be wise about her fragile heart. I already give a lot of myself to those around me- honesty is not a problem, care is not a problem, yet you cannot expect to walk in and rearrange my inner-sanctum to your liking. It took years to put all things proper in their place, to heal, to remove incorrect blockages, to drain the pipes of pain, to paint my mind the colors of hope, to expect greatness instead of shadiness. The peace which permeates my whole being is unexplainable so I can't just hand you the key. You've got to earn your trust. #thatsall

My friend confidence in reciprocated love flows like a river. She flows on and on- it keeps moving undeterred of obstacles, the hard rocks of desolation, the cesspools of bitter pain, the caves of obscurity. Her faith in love confidently flows forth like the Nile birthing new unions upon arrival of a fertilized field. I admire her courage. It strengthens me to vulnerability. To maybe just believe that I'd make it past another destroyed expectation. Yet I'm not in a hurry nor am I in desperation. My spirit sings within me that in due timing my love will come. Until then- enjoy the scenery, observe, and learn the laws that govern this intricate universe.

However, I never want to end up loving like broken battlefield. It's grounds soaked in the blood of its victims. Their bodies crying out to the living to avert their impending disaster. So many beautiful gardens disguise a massacre so atrocious; the stench alone would suffocate the life of the well-intentioned. Another grenade goes off, and another one bites the dust. Their survivors just shake their head in utter disbelief, words fail them to explain the abominable valley they went through. "Psycho, maniac, needy, dude..I just..vigorous smh" -all they can come up with to explain the fierce deception they endured. A broken battlefield needs to be disarmed, uprooting all the emotional minefields, the ground fertilized with hope to sprout flowers full with the aroma of innocence again. The little girl needing to be raised from the abyss of torture to see skies of possibility again. A task better left for Divine love.

I love. You Love. They Love.

one form my poison, His form my Life-Giving River, our love two steps closer to heaven.

Sassy Facts

2010-05-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

I thought it'd be fun to do some facts about me!

Facts about Christie aka Sassy Island Gal -(there's a reason for that nickname as you'll see)

1. I am a PROUD Dutch-Caribbean Island gal- I don't pretend to be anything else. It's been quite a journey to understand the ethnic groups within this wonderfully complex society called America. I enjoy it even when I criticize it at times. I've got mad appreciation for being here. I have a ball and have met some of the most incredible generous people.
2. I am a NON-BULLCRAP person. Please do not crap on my patience with lies, excuses, or insincere niceties. Give it to me straight. If you don't like me, or you feel I offended you, or whatnot- tell it to me straight (which maybe you can tell from my posts). I respect straight-talkers the most. These type of people are my closest friends. I just feel if you can't tell me something to my face that you're straight up shady bc God knows how you're dogging me behind my back then smiling in my face. So cut the bs and get to the heart- I connect to that so strong. It really touches me deeply that you choose to be vulnerable. I'm not judging so definitely want to hear the uncut version instead of what you gloss over which leads to my next fact.
3. I love people with deep life stories.You could've been a hustler, a former lady of the corner, whatnot but honestly I appreciate people who proudly say- I had my days but I'm restored now or am working on it. They walk with their heads high because they know their worth regardless of what people say to them.
4. If I can help you in anyway- definitely- I will help you even if it is to my detriment at times. I care deeply for people and I just could've met them. God & people have shown me such kindness- I have no reason to be stingy with the love I've been blessed to have in my life.
5. I run with a lot of people. I have different groups of friends and I don't like people who get all possessive making requirements for me to stay within a type of circle. I let go and let flow. I've survived without anyone in my life so as important as people are in my life- I can survive without. The only being I can't survive without is God. #thatsall. Play your position and if you don't like it- keep it moving.
6. I KEEP it moving! I don't stay down long. I PUSH FORWARD. Perseverance is one of the crucial keys of life. Mistakes are only final when you give up. Failures are the mother of reinvention. Reinvention the mother of Success!!
7. I don't define success & happiness by what I have or someone has. Beautiful moments just tickle my spirit to its deepest core. I thrive off that- touching someone, being touched by someone, or just a serene moment reminding me of something greater. It may be a smile returned by a stranger, a random act of kindness, a ray of sunshine, getting Snickers from a friend, someone remembering me- it all adds to my joy. Money can't buy me nothing of significant worth.
8. LOVE LOVE LOVE Fashion! Harper's and Glamour subscriber! When the designers unleash their collections- you best believe I'll be going through pictures to find the next trends, and how I will apply it to my personal style. I don't believe in following a trend but creating & adding to your style.
9. I love a good *clean* joke, witticisms, and friendly intense banter with friends!
10. The most attractive attribute I like out of men is a holistic maturity. A man who takes responsibility for his successes and mistakes. If he can hold intelligent & honest conversation - that's major for me. Throw in a beautiful blazer, well-fitting slacks, beautiful tie, and a sensuous after-shave/cologne- I'm out lol.
11. I LOVE to GO out and BE out! I'm not a clubber but I love to go to events with fun friends. Exploring the city and what's going on. Gala's, party's, plays, outdoor concerts, kayaking trips, nature walks, bbq's, beach trips etc. Staying home on the weekends for me is cruel and unusual punishment!! Really, I drive myself nuts staying home during that time.
12. Which goes hand in hand with this fact. I was made for CITY LIFE. I know crazy right?? I'm from a teeny weeny island but I love the city. I'm pushing to move inside the city aka DC downtown this August. Love the buzz.
13. I have no desire to be married right now. I wonder sometimes if there's something maybe off with me since I see a lot of people I went to college with getting married but that just makes me more apprehensive (hope they have good prenups). However, I do want to be married in a couple of years but I'm not pressed (yet). Guess when you have a fabulous single life, I really don't see why I NEED to FEEN to be married. I'm not scared to be alone.
14. Even when I get married- I don't really see me doing the housewife thing. I'll be dedicated to my children but it will be in a modern way. I'm a non-traditionalist (if you can't tell!) so yeah- I want to take em all over the world so they know that they are HIGHLY blessed & FAVORED to be borne in the society that they are. I actually might do a type of half in school, half some type of satellite homeschool thing so that they can experience their textbooks. I just really want them to gain LIFE EXPERIENCE and hopefully that will help to mature well.
15. I love to be creative! I love to dance- my room is my favorite dance floor! I love my curly fro- SO HAPPY I went natural!

I love to step to my own beat but I love company on my way Heavenbound.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

P.S to my friends: feel free to add in ;-)

Hurr...

2010-05-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

What is it about cliches about what women are supposed to be or do that bothers me so much though rings so true? It is a true fact that if a woman doesn't "girly" herself up, that she probably won't get as much male attention. What is it that instantly magnetizes a man when a woman lets down her hair and long? Throw a ribbon on it and they're practically "cooing" at you, emulating their best primal prince charming behavior.I've seen this happen so many times. I go to the establishment that hands out the dollas in exchange for my "slave" labor and am in "career woman" mode. Men acknowledge you, they may be nice, or courteous but chivalry gasps for its last breaths in the background, lol. Now, if I come in with my tresses luxurious and silky--ooo..the chivalrous attitudes, the shy smiles, winks and so forth. The ole men will dust off their old lines as rickety as their walking canes, the young will try to spit game in the fail leagues of Soulja boy, and the dapper- well the dapper bring the compliments like sensuous chocolate fondue immersing you in their yummy goodness. MMmm...licking fingers..*looks around & pulls back into composure* LOL.

Well, I saw this post that I never finished from months ago. Funny, I've learned that some attributes are just plain irresistible to men among them like nice hair. It's so true, it your flipping crown, be it you bought it from that crummy Asian store next to that shady 7/11 or you be swishing Pantene style in your own natural crown. It's just how the male-female dynamic goes. We can try to dissect it, theorize it, intellectualize it but it just works that way. Hilarity is you'll see some man popping a vein about some theory yet some woman walk past him, and his eyes near fall out of its socket. HHahhahah...just my observation. I don't knock it anymore- just learned to harness the power of the knowledge of what is attractive to the other sex. It varies with each person but confidence is key. You as a woman are a beautiful queen even if there isn't a king or prince to appreciate it yet that doesn't detract from your royalty. Revel in your own beauty- and admirers will come! :-)

Toodles!

Mentally Honest

2010-05-27T22:19:00.001-07:00

Fellow Tweeters have been spreading awareness that May is Mental Health month. Within me stirred yet I remained quiet.. It's humbling to admit in front of everyone that I have battled with mental issues in my family and with myself. My grandmother had Schizophrenia and lapsed every three to six months. My mom battled cyclical depression. My other grandmother battled Alzheimer's. My aunts have had serious bouts with mental disease landing one in the hospital getting her stomach pumped. I grew up visiting my grandmother in the Hospital or forcing my mom to eat or drink something while she shut herself in the dark. She'd weep with such fervor and blame everything on everyone and everything. You know how hard it is to have the one who birthed you crying so hard that she's clutching her heart (suffering from heart palpitations) blaming you for her current state.

Now, many of you might think it would have driven me crazy and into rebellion. It didn't. My sympathies and love for her is deep. She had gone through so much as a child- she was the Mother when my grandmother lapsed. As she did, I'd take care of the family when she would lapse for weeks on end shutting herself in the room. I'd make breakfast for my dad, made sandwiches for my little sister and I, and cook lunch/dinner. Having gone through that with close family members made me mature very quickly in mind. I VOWED to never be the victim and to seek to be happy. I knew the triggers. I knew what it took to get you down spiraling out of control. It took one toxic thought coupled with some hard situations to knock the best off their sanity. I thanked God for keeping me sane but unbeknown to me I was having my own issues.

Round my teenage years, my thoughts would turn very dark during certain times. Suicide would be on the forefront of my mind but I never went through with it because so many people "depended" on me. Puberty was rough. Peer pressure and teasing by friends and "well-meaning" family made me pick myself apart. However, I had to remain the "strong" one or else I felt things would cave in. My parents were so proud that out of all their daughters I was a testament of "happiness" through all. My mom always told me how she admired my resilient joy in all things. As much as I appreciated her sentiment, it drove me hard when I did go through depression moments. "Everyone" knew me as "Happy Christie". And my discontent would seriously alienate a lot of people.

Sweet seventeen happened or better said sour. I moved to another island to finish school. I lived in host homes and God knows I went through some terrible things. THIS is when I realized my clear predisposition for deep depression. I starved myself- I shut myself in a room in the dark- developed compulsions- sometimes wouldn't shower for days -my room was a COMPLETE mess- Pesks took residence and I could care less -Thoughts of death were constant & bitterness enveloped my tender heart.

Finally it became apparent that something was wrong with me to the outside world. My parents understood and it pained them a lot. It helped them face their own demons honestly.

Then I moved to the United States. I was SO EXCITED! The transition was so much easier and fun. However, repressed emotions resurfaced at simple thing. One night, something happened, and I tried to explain to my roommate why it bothered me so much. I started sobbing so hard my tongue paralyzed. My mind was numb with pain. My second nervous breakdown happened. My roommate having been diagnosed with mental disorder herself knew what was going on. She gave me one of the BEST advice I've gotten so far regarding mental health. She told me " Christie, release all those people who have hurt you, release them. All it's doing is making you sick and they're probably going along fine." I was instructed to make a list and that FORCED me to reconcile hard things that happened in my past. From abandonment issues, to low self-esteem issues, to rejection from people I treasured the most. I had to acknowledge that I didn't deserve all the pain. I was not the cause. I was not responsible for someone I knew suicide. She decided to end her life, it was her choice.

It's been quite a journey and I've gone from a compartmentalized view of myself to being holistically me. The Christie that you see today is a product of growth, release, and forgiveness. Through all the counsel and support- I've learned to be keenly aware of when I'm going "down". I know now when the elevator of my mind is chiming "going down". I know when I'm in that state that I have to surround myself with certain people, music, thoughts.

I learned to change my perspective on life. There's something innate in us that rejects pain, blames it on people, God, ourselves. We want perfection but this world isn't perfect. My journey has taught me to reconcile my pain with my beliefs. God didn't promise us a perfect life on this earth- that's what the afterlife is for. What He does say is to confess all your anguish, pain, happiness, sadness to Him honestly. God isn't hurt by our questioning and accusations. He understand we're limited creatures-lol. Look, I still have my yelling sessions at God, life, and what not. People know now that I'm 95% happy but that 5% can be intense but it's ok- perspective changes anything.

It says in the Christian Bible " Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven". I take solace in that.

My journey has taught me so much compassion for people. Mental ailing isn't something to make fun of but acknowledge. If you don't understand what someone is going through- then just hug them, let them know you love them- you care. Don't disparage them because they keep relapsing. It's a battle and victory is on the other side. For some- it's a lifelong journey. Some are delivered from it. Deliverance to me is KNOWING when you are going down and doing what you're supposed to do. Seek to be with people, FIGHT against your inwards notions to Isolate. I seek outside perspective. It always comes to me.

This is why I'm so joyful. I HAVE OVERCOME. I overcome constantly by staying hopeful despite life's stresses & triggers! Joy is one thought away and so is victory.

Change your perspective- Change your life.

Much love,
Christie

Highway to a Husband Dear Jesus help this woman

2010-05-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Julia Yarbrough, a succesful Miami news anchor, decided to quit her well-paying job along with her BFF (how did she not talk her out of this) to go on a nationwide search for her husband. *Drops plate in ten thousand pieces- crickets stop chirping, even Richard Simmons is confused out of his leotards*

What the mess? How is this a good idea? The authors who first reported the story at www.eurthisnthat.com also sounded confused and highly skeptical.

“I don’t know if anyone told Julia Yarbrough, but today’s men really don’t find unemployed women anymore attractive than women find unemployed men attractive. But, nonetheless, she took off with her BFF, Silva Harapetian, to find a man Another flag! She not only has a girlfriend to bounce all his faults off once she goes to interview said potential mate, but she’s bringing her along for the ride. “

Yes, not only does she quit her job in a RECESSION, you take your friend to confuse you even more on your quest for a man. Look, it's hard for me not to be critical. This reeks of bad idea number 1,004,678,907 right after Chest Hair toupe *shudder*. Last time I checked with guys- they don't think women who subscribe to the“desperado crew” philosophy are cute & sexy. A certain ora surrounds a woman who is trolling for her next target to wrangle into holy connubiality. It's just not attractive. Second of all, the more my guyfriends let me peer in their brains the more I realize I know shiznits about men. So bringing your ~~frenemy~~ best girlfriend as your filter is just a major #FAIL in the leagues of Justin Bieber's awful haircut.I'm sure she will have a hell of time patrolling America. Lots of stories (or not) for the future grambabies if she can find a man first- Lord let me stop.

She gets brownie points for blatantly ignoring Steve Harvey, Jimmi Izrael (the originator of all evil) and Hill Harper. She believes love is out there for her and is passionately pursuing it. Plus she is not limiting herself to the black dating pool. Kudos to her for not staying comfortable. I'm a big proponent of interracial dating because the babies are so daggone cute (shallow- I know). Miss Lady is taking an unusual route to find her piece of happiness. Yes, it's crazy to me but after reading her "passionate" plea - I could maybe see where she's coming from *yea..tried..mind hurts*

Julia's website“Highway to a Husband” offers these nuggets into her ~~crazy~~ brain

"My name is Julia and I'm single. I have had an amazing and exciting career (22 years in the TV news biz), awesome travels, excellent friends and amazing adventures. But even with all that, there’s still something missing: a solid and loving relationship. I've tried everything I can think of - set-ups from friends, blind dates, on-line dating services.... still - NOTHING! (Maybe it's you -Julia)
I’m not quite sure who my husband is, but I know you’re not sitting at home waiting for life to come to you. You’re out following your passions and the only way for me to meet you is if I do the same."

Basically hunting the poor man down and stalking him to the alter. Ok, I'm done!

Good luck to you Julia. I wouldn't do it. I'm more of a traditionalist. The local waters have provided me with much entertainment. But don't let my "hate" knock your "hustle".
You all know what I think about this. What do you think? Would you do it?

Karnaval

2010-04-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

After so many attempts at obtaining something and being so close yet so far, I've decided to enjoy life as is. It can be easy to start picking yourself apart, yelling four letter words at God, and depressing your friends with another tale of woe. This time around it made me think of Karnaval.

Karnaval is a time in the Caribbean where people put their problems on the shelf, leave their negativity securely locked at home, and go out and just "DANCE". You enjoy yourself like there is no tomorrow. Tomorrow is thought of only as in "how much fun will I have". Forget worrying, forget your troubles, lets just dance, laugh, drink & eat. Funny how you can be in the midst of the worst situation ever and an invitation arrives to some event, and you're all smiles.

It works the same way in the valley of Despair. One crack of sunshine lights up the whole darkness. So seek that ray like a long lost precious piece of jewelry. Be it going out dancing with your friends, cracking that book you've been putting off to read, breaking out the blanket & laying in the sun. Do what cultivates happiness in you. A state of Happiness is not given but cultivated. Despite all the curve-balls that life throws at you trying to get you to strike out-you see the Silver Lining.

Eternally happy people used to make me sick-lol. My comprehension failed to understand the resilience of their joy in spite of opportunities for negative perspective. Having gone through my own Valleys of Insanity- the revelation dawned on me like the titillating morning Sun that I'm only one thought away from hope, happiness, and positivity. Humans naturally don't like hard times but it is an opportunity to grow into a more satisfied view of life. Instead of dread filling up your "space" choose to see the good in whatever you're going through. I know it's tough- heck..I used to be like..yall are straight up crazy trying to tell me to fake it, to make it. I'm not suggesting that. Mourn your disappointment yet choose to see something uplifting in it. This hard exercise will ultimately turn you into one of those "happy people". No you won't be screaming "awesome" and "amazing" the whole time but you'll have a seasoned resilience that attracts many to see the Source of it.

Be a Light. Be a Smile. Carry the Hope.

Island Gal

Single & Prosperous!

2010-04-20T23:22:00.001-07:00

I’m cracking up at the Blogosphere as of late. Let me specify, the Black blogosphere. From diatribes on media hype on the single black women pandemonium to some sticking up the proverbial middle finger to the world. The consensus is media needs to stay out of our love lives and Steve Harvey is of the devil. Hahahhah, to the last one. Look, I’m not going to hammer further on a coffin that’s been pounded to ash twice turned over to look for scraps. No mam, it is what it is but I do want to give a real woman’s experience out there in “single black womanland”.

-Saturday
What an akward yet funny day. It was one my friend’s birthday and we celebrated by hitting up an exotic eatery with seriously bad eighties elevator music. Still puzzled at their music connection to their foreign cuisine *smh* but this is beside the point. What is important is the fact that someone I had gone out with and have been put in connubiality without my knowledge was also there. Mr X.’s face lit up when he saw me and I cringed inside. No worries though, I followed my friend’s advice and made small talk with the group. Unbeknownst to me, conspiracies were being concocted. During the night much “personal space” was given to Mr X and I to commune.

The only reason I had given him a shot was because his friends nearly begged me to accept his offer of assignation. On paper he was all that I could've asked for. He’s a Harvard-law grad, did his undergrad at VanderBilt, is a prestigious lawyer in my city, and from what I heard—his bank account isn’t too shabby either. But I wasn't really impressed by his social skills. I TOTALLY Agree with the song “Can’t buy me love”. It’s not the content of someone’s achievements but the content of his character that will make you fall in love (Lesson Learned). He was sweet and accommodating however there wasn’t a “connection”. Saturday solidified my assessment even more. It’s just not there. Even after his best friend’s girlfriend EMBARRASINGLY asked at the table how “we” are doing. Missed the memo on our “we-ness” and I retorted smartly that she’d have to ask him that. The topic was dead (to me).

The end of the night came and he was very intent on letting me know he wanted to keep exploring the possibilities. Politely, I informed him I had already indicated that he was more than welcome to join me on Friday for dinner &jazz. It will be in a group setting but “Oh well”. However, he made sure he wanted to hang out besides that. I feel bad, I don’t like breaking people’s expectations (with people I refer to nice men). But I’ll try to do it as gently as possible.

So all this to say—black women are still dating and have great prospects. Forget all the negative reports. CNN/WashPost/ABC just concocted some women’s conundrum into a national epidemic for the sake of ratings/adspace money/whatever.

Second of all, I need to visit the watering holes again to be in the company of great men. Maybe I’ll meet another cool educated brother w/o an Ivy-League and all the hoopla of zeros in his bank. No need, all I appreciate is a good intelligent brother who pursues a woman and is able to provide in due timing. I’m glad I went through the experience with Mr.X to be woken up out of the silly delusion of “I needs the money, the cars, the social status, and Obama on my speed dial” to have a good man. A good man is just a man who has integrity. He pursues his goals with full passion but also knows how to recognize and treat a good woman.

Signing off,

Ms. Island Gal

Childish Games

2010-04-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm too Grown for these Childish Games. Why you wanna, play your games on me?

Red light. Green light. 123...

Consequence's title track honestly made me think. Why do we want to play Childish games when we're on grown level? Why are some people still applying high school mathematics to grad status life? I'm trying to get on Ph.D level yet you insist on imbecilic notions of the young and clueless. Understanding fails me trying to comprehend these simplistic oafs. Do they not see their nincompoopish thinking? Or do they willingly murk in the bacchanal of ignorance?

Lately, childishness in a grown person has been setting me off. I know we all have traveled different paths and have our own pain and vacillations. But you can't keep using your past as an alibi to continue unchanged through the present. There has to be a moment where you decide--this is it, I'm done and I'm going to crawl, be it one inch at a time out of my mess. Growth past tough life experiences is the true emblem of an adult. An adult is not only someone who is older in age but someone who has taken life's blows, lows, and throes turning it into a seasoned view of the world and its operations.

This is what I feel is desperately lacking in the world today. We have gotten comfortable in the psychologies of "kid at heart" and forgotten that at some point "kid" has to grow up. By no means do I perpetuate a sterile exercise of adult attributes. No, keep the essence of kid purity and wonderment at the world. You will need it to keep going in this world. To enjoy the treasures of life that are even wrapped up in pain and suffering. However, translate and grow your attributes to a more complex view of life. There's nothing sadder than watching a 50 year old throw a tantrum like a child asserting that everyone is against them. Trying to punish others which ultimately robs themselves of the beauty of companionship & growth. No matter what the circumstance-- pull back if it gets too much. Reflect, pray, chant, dance, whatever you need to do --but keep it grown.

Leave the hopskotch to the youngins.

Why didn't I Get married?

2010-04-07T02:36:00.000-07:00

You may consider him a lout or hail him as the renaissance man but Tyler Perry is one to start much cogitation. His crazy plots with subtle (or not so subtle) messages are usually at the forefront of much agitation. However, I cease and desist from taking shots at his lack of editorial talent and will focus on the semi-intelligent premise he does start his films with.

Why Did I get Married really got me contemplating the reasons behind my underlying apprehension to enter in such a "permanent" union. I'm by no means a commitment-phobe. Relationships to me are beautiful. People who are doing marriage well hold a special place in my heart. But whenever someone talks marriage especially when I was in college. A sour distaste was left in my mouth when I was asked for the umpteenth time why I was single and not actively pursuing the ideal of marriage. Was it my strong feminist roots? My fear of being trapped? I didn't know but I did some internal digging and came up with some reasons.

Top reasons for not being married

1. I can do whatever I please, whenever I please, with whomever I please. I prize my independence, my ability to maneuver my life wherever I deem fit. If tomorrow I feel like moving to Ecuador and becoming a sheep herder. So, be it. The flip side of this argument is the underlying premise that once married, I will have to forfeit all my plans and independence to my husband. While this does hold some clout in some way, I've come to realize that in a successful relationship you want to do that. Furthermore, not every man ( at least good ones) will want to change your destiny. They liked you because of what you currently are and are striving to be.

2. I have to be a stay-at-home mom
Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I love the idea of nurturing the next generation of great leaders. But the thought of having to stay home all the time frightens me. I love to be out and about but when kids enter the picture it's different. On top of that, having only laundry, house-cleaning, knitting and I don't know what to keep me busy will probably drive me insane. I'm comforted by the fact that more than 60% of the female populations is actively employed (or seeking employment). Nannies, housekeepers and grandparents are an option in alleviating the burden of making "house". When the time comes, I will probably have some different sentiments but right now, I'm considering alternative options to house-making. Sure, not every woman who bears children becomes a homemaker however the tendency seems to be that the husband will want the woman to stay home with the kids. But I have to keep the belief that there are men out there who will support a woman's career instead of dousing it out.

3. Honestly, my trepidations about connubiality all boil down to the fact that I don't want to lose myself. Compromise and selflessness are cornerstones of marriage. Am I ready to forfeit myself for a lifetime for another person? I don't know, and that keeps me for now. The fact of not knowing. My dreams are actualizing and my life is on the path that I've been envisioning. Life is great. And I don't want to mess that up. I steadfastly hold unto the hope that someday soon I will meet a man whose agenda isn't to change me but to appreciate me for who I am.

I think that most of us who are single (except the desperado crew) are holding out because we want that unconditional love. The love that appreciates us for who we are. And is in content in being that.

My parents have been married for over twenty-five years. I've seen the delights of marriage and the valleys of abysmal misery it can cause. Their long-standing commitment has imparted such respect in me for the institution of marriage that I don't want to enter it lightly.

My question to you is ..Why aren't you married?

Death by phone

2009-08-22T15:05:00.001-07:00

So, here I am..months later at working killing some time before it's time to call it a night. Shaking my head at what the day has brought and the many buttwipes that have come my way. Why do people act in such nasty manners when it comes to something simple like their phones? I have seen some of the worst sides of the human nature unfold with a sentence of "I'm sorry but yes, this will cost you fifty dollars to replace". But aaa..such is life..waking up to the unpleasant causes people to tap into their inner devils and unfold a lashing so severe only to struck by reality. It is what it is, you need to grow up, and deal with the ramnifications of your decisions. At least, that's my motto, do what you want, scream all you want, sucks for you buddy. Be nice, and I'll see what I can do, I was going to do it anyway but now that you're acting entitled...hmmm...

Anyway, this not only applies to the vengeance of people on their property but anything that impedes the comfortability that they have operated in. Today, the crapshoot blew to the roof when schedules had to be changed to reflect equality amongst all workers when "the favored" did not speak to some of the workers because we upset the "natural order". Gossip groups started flourishings, warnings expedited, and quarreling springing up with the mention of one comment. Yes, drama!! Oo, the drama between "the reporter" --the one who reported the unjust scheduling to the "responder"--the one who decided that "I ain't dealing with you witches no more" (lol). Finally, the team leader decided to actually do what he's supposed to do which is lead and started working towards a resolution while I'm caught in the middle. MM...some of the stuff that happened made me nearly jump out of my skin but hey at the end of the day we all just have to step back, reflect, and see if all the hullaballoo is really worth it. Because as much as the "reporter" said she didn't care what the "responder" said..she does..because all her assertions of "I'm ok, I don't need to talk to her"..really translate to "I miss the community we used to have and I wish it was back the way it was before I said something". All that near up and down swearing that everything's ok assured me that as much as we say "we don't care about all that stuff" that it's actually deeply important to our emotional well-being.

So, whatever you swear "you don't care about" ...just step back and be honest with yourself for at least one moment of the day and admit quietly to yourself that you DO care and that it does matter. It's quite liberating and after admitting that to my nemesis aka my team leader, it felt very cathartic...like and ole time baptismal in the river cleansing me from my past. It is what it is..it's in our human nature to care. So death by phone..not likely..but truthfulness revealed..finally. And with these thoughts I close my night.

Goodnight friends,

Island Gal

Frikkin Fabulous: Why I don’t believe in Love!

2009-08-12T23:31:00.001-07:00

So, I ran across this book today on my quest to endlessly explore the internet till I die. And I was SO THRILLED beyond measure! FINALLY, two women who are preaching against the idealistic delusion of “marriage”. Now, before you start drawing conclusions that I have some deep-seethed emotionally repressed issues which are expressing themselves as a strong disdain for “marriage”, let me explain myself. It’s not that I don’t believe in marriage, I do. Rather, I despise the notion that women see themselves and are seen by others as incomplete and/or lacking until they have that coveted ring on their finger implying “till death to us part” or till “the next divorce papers are filed”. I actually think that “till death” still works as long as you don’t marry a butt-wipe or the next best thing to “shield” yourself from societal and internal pressures you exert on yourself.

I think my exceeding excitement and satisfaction in finding this book greatly stems from the fact that for four and a half years of my life I spent it in super-conservative country. A place known for it’s marriage farm ideals and it’s divorce rate. It is as if it is better to carry a string of broken hearts as coveted medals of honor then to confess that you are single and happy. I actually got scoffed at and laughed at publicly for confessing such a thing. I was perceived as a feministic ball-chopper, sick delusional, going against the natural order of GOD (whatever the crap that means). I was meant to be barefoot and pregnant making some man his dinner. Really, I’m quoting here. Yes, as much as I wanted to shove a stick up their cracks, I pitied them to the core of their (not mine) existence. That you are that lonely and dissatisfied with self to subject yourself to a delusion that is so costly, I have no other sentiment but deep pity. I have deep reverence for the Man upstairs and yes someone can be single and genuinely happy and satisfied with life. I love how some claim natural order while they’re the first in line for Botox injections..mmm...

But back to the book, “How to Marry the Wrong Guy”; it’s a guide to help you navigate the challenging terrain of mating. Many women get stuck in unhappy marriages because they get married out of expectation, comfort, convenience, loneliness, and just selfishness. It’s time that we firmly grasp all the freedoms our ancestors fought so hard to afford us. The only person that can make the choice for happiness is YOU! I strongly believe that now more then ever.

So my two cents, actually forget that, 98 CENTS to this discussion is: “DO NOT forsake your current state of life for someone who cannot enrich it more than it is now.” My dad (gotta love him) told me “Christie, here’s the deal. Don’t marry NO MAN that gives you less than I can.” Mind you, he sacrificed his personal retirement savings to send me to school. His sacrifice for me and my personal happiness blew my mind, and has set a significant standard when it comes to love and marriage. It’s not about the dollar amount but the amount of sacrifice the man is willing to do that makes him genuinely happy w/o requiring anything back (and I do the same! It’s not only about me, ya know). Yes, I know it’s crazy! But wouldn’t it be great if this actually was so?

It’s not impossible! I have witnessed it firsthand (by ppl other than my dad :-)So heads high! Work on yourself and do not succumb to the voices who spread such foolishness causing much sadness and down days. We have the power to be happy regardless of what the world says is required. The happiest people on earth have learned in the absence of their wants that life..life is so much more than all these “requirements”. Life is to be discovered, to be reveled in, to be searched and seen everyday with child-like vision. Life is a blessed adventure waiting to be embarked on.

So happy trailing,

Christie a.k.a “Island Gal”

Great Beginnings

2009-08-08T21:19:00.001-07:00

Well it's been seven months since I made that on a "whim" decision to move to the DC. With one decision my whole life was packed into a truck driven through inauguration traffic to the heart of Shirlington to start a new life. A new life began on the promise of independence, fulfillment of dreams, and self attainment. As great as my aspirations were so much adversity attached itself to my new quest. From losing the job I moved here for to staying in limbo for months because of Visa processing complications and the rough patch the economy is going through to now working as a customer tech. Beach vacations and road trips interspersed as with my housing situations since I've been through four moves in the last seven months! Craziness! Can you blame me for craving stability? Seems like things are slowing down but now I wonder how I'll be able to stay in the country since I don't have a job that I'd like to get sponsored through. Well, I'm happy to have a stable living situation (or so it seems) and life seems to be winding down. Seems like lots of people are going through beginnings and so am I. Five years ago, I just moved to the States knowing no one really and now this is my freshman year in DC grownup life.

So here's to initiation into my new phase of life,

Cheers,

Island Gal

technology sidenote:

Just trying out these new technologies. From ChaCha, Gubb.net, Evernote to Posterous. What I like about what these products promise is the cross platform functionality. So new beginnings for my laptop, internet presence, and mobile.

Here's to new beginnings

Christie
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Posted via email from islandgal's posterous

Sexy Co-workers

2009-07-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ooh what a whirlwind week it has been! From showing up late for work at my new location because we got lost, to having a customer come in and say his phone number had been hijacked by people from jail *loco*, to learning the importance of sign language. Lord, you know it's been crazy but good, stressful but enjoyable. Every hard experience is a learning opportunity for the next. Taking my apples and making some yummy apple pie (instead of complaining "how do you like them apples, ey?). Well......well.....well (*insert church pipe organ here + dramatic black preacher inflection*) MMmmMmm..so it's a nice environment to work in but what got me all up in a mini-semi tizzy is one of my co-workers. He's a very nice man, tall, athletic-looking, well-dressed, happy and sweet. He's a good conversationalist and boy...because he actually LISTENS (acting like what I'm talking about is super-interesting) and has something intelligent to add plus his dreamy Euro accent and physique isn't helping a sister to stay in professional mode--aka-- we cool ppl's but keep it work! It's not like I'm detecting anything, for all I know some other woman is all up on him in his down time but hey, it's a cheeky daydream fancy. But I really need to get over my *work crush* soon, sure nothing will happen, he'll become a jerk, and soon all those dreams will fall off the face of daydream earth at the discovery of some horrendous flaw impairing my David (not his actual name--he has a sexy name though--but referring to the sculpture. When you think a name's sexy (that is common) then you know you *mini-infatu-sprung*--> infatuatingly into a person --this detour from the regularly scheduled programming only last but so long. Hhahahhha..oo the simplicity of humans. Well, I'm enjoying the crush au courant--I'll let you know what broke the "spell".

ttyl Sassy Island Girl

Sue me!

2009-06-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

Lightbulb moments have been hitting me like mosquitoes feasting on a bloody fiesta. And I'm loving it! The central point of my revelations is "I am, who I am, so sue me". For years, though I might come over as a tough determined (yet sweet :-) cookie, I tried to appease people in some ways so that they wouldn't feel akward or wouldn't see me as that. Now, I'm like screw that! It is what it is, and if it isn't for you--move on! NO MORE, people pleasing, I don't NEED to be the center of attention, I don't need to be the focus of a new group, racking up friends like shot glasses at a frat party, having "bff" talks and revealing my soul to a bunch of strangers in an attempt to make them realize "I'm on of them". That crap tends to hit the ceiling and then when it's used against you, you'll be crying "I thought we were friends". I don't deny that true friendships can be formed in such situations but rather emphasize the point of embracing the moment and richly enjoying it for what it is. Not overcomplicating it but relishing sharing a common human experience. If you are so blessed to forge a seasonal or lifetime bond out of it, great stuff! That's the second big lightbulb moment I had: Live truely in the moment and don't sweat the details constantly. The Man upstairs is taking care of all that. Do what's in YOUR power and leave the rest up to Him. Whatever happens works out for your good somehow. Believe it and you'll start treasuring the hard experiences in your life even.

anyway..let me know your thoughts... signing off Christie

Footsicle

2009-06-14T19:40:00.001-07:00

So, yeah I wrote about Ugly Joe and one of the guys who this archetype was based on confronted me about it. He called and did the "we need to talk" voice and I was like SATSUMI Roll! I was like..hmm...I think he got to the post. Karma is a beast! Anyway, after an interesting car conversation the air was cleared and the dust settled...He's actually a nice dude and had no ulterior motives. It's interesting what not following your gut instincts, listening to girlfriends, and endless teasing will do to your perception. I knew not to read into it but somehow took the road well-traveled by us women to the land of "concocting something that isn't there". Thank God, he was very nice and humble about it and after apologizing profusely over and over explained that because I thought he WAS this archetype I had a strong knee-jerk reaction but now that we are both in the clear of friends land, I'm good. I'll try to focus on the positive experiences I've had with men but in general though there are a number of jerks walking around. DC has served many a surprise, bc there are some nice men but honestly after my last idiotic bum-rider Sam encounter (I'll elaborate later) I became somewhat embittered against "menkind". Sorry boys! Thanks to my friend for not making the conversation about my blogposts akward. Still have a slight sink in the ground moment feeling but this Too shall pass. Another story for the kids and an interesting growing point.

till next time folks--just to recap--> nice guys who are purely friends still do exist. Contrary to popular belief.

Reflections on UJ

2009-06-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

After doing some cathartic soul searching and reading, a eureka emotional moment dawned on my spirit. I was always intrigued why UJ annoyed me so much. Trust, there are many things I dislike about him but may be able to overlook wasn't it for the fact that I realized that he's trying to change me into the package he perceived I was or wants me to be. I know he's physically attracted to me but in many of our interactions he brings up that I need to calm down or do this or that. He wants me to fit this picture HE has of the "perfect girl" he wants. So, all this nonsense doesn't concern me as much as it concerns his emotional needs and disconnect from reality. As I've said before, you CANNOT change a person. This is a task best left for the Divine and maybe the people who bore/took care of this person. Cause Lord knows, I ain't got time for that anymore. Thanks Daddy! (read Dating 301 post). This realization about UJ's emotional disconnect brought much peace to my soul because he just bothered me and I didn't know why. It irked me so much to the point of just wanting to squash him emotionally. I guess it's ingrained in the human spirit that we do not want to changed but accepted moreso lovingly understood and appreciated for the quirks that makes us..us and not someone else.

So UJ, I have a message for you. You like an illusion of me, a figment you've created but not what I am.You need to take some time and realize that this person doesn't exist and abandon ship on whatever type of lame "strategy" you were trying to concoct. Leave it alone...let it die..PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU! Because it irks this girl you're trying to "go after" and causes you much more discouragement than if you took the time to see that the one for you is not me.

It's ok, I've been there but I'm learning to let go and let God bring into my life the man who is what my spirit has been desiring. Because we (that man and I) are cut of the same cloth but YOU happen to be of a different textile.

Idiots R us

2009-06-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

As I was contemplating what to write about ending my bloggeriatus, I remembered one of my last text convo's with a "guyfriend" and I was more than inspired to go off on no-good idiots that call themselves men. No, I'm not bitter woman walking around wanting to chop off men's numchucks or suddenly want to start shopping in my "department" bashing the other department for their lack of "insert reason for turning lesbian because of a man here". No..no...no...I'm just sick and tired of dealing with men who haven't left their boy tendencies in kindergarten with their powerranger sheets.

Exhibit A: Lets call him Ugly Joe Archetype
He's a nice guy, he's helped me while I was in some difficult situations, seems to treat women with reasonable amount of respect. DEFINITELY not a looker, style needs some upgrading (jeans from '98 and an free promo t-shirt does NOT constitute evening wear!) but has manners. So what irks the ISH out of me with him? He asks me on an evening "out" a date w/o calling it bc he had to BS his way through giving me reasons why I should go. Then during the whole time he's like "Oh, I'd be a good influence on you, I can tell your friends this, or yeah I can balance you out". I'm like who ARE YOU to infer that I want my ways changed or need your help to explain my friends who've been my "roaddogs" (as I call them) my ways? (Can you tell I'm Super Independent?) The reason they ARE my friends are because they like what I am! He kept "saying things" without actually "saying it" that after awhile I said "You know what I HATE in men? That they can't be upfront of what they want! If you like a girl tell her and either you'll get reciprocated or get SHOT DOWN LIKE A MAN!". Well, I thought that was the end of that, but oh no my friends. Even, after I gave him the "Friends" line, he persisted. Some of my best friends noticed it and one of them remarked "girl, I think he's trying to wear you out until you give in". HECK NAW, because after last night's text convo I'm DONE! I injured my back badly yesterday and he sent me a text saying "hey, did you go bullriding w/o inviting me..wink wink?" and then proceeding to come up with "funny" ways that I pulled my back. FUNNY WAYS??!! HOW IS PULLING YOUR BACK FUNNY?!! Then being like..don't be so uptight..you'll be fine as I spent my morning BAWLING my eyes out and INCAPACITATED by EXCRUCIATING PAIN! Everything was out of whack; I was dizzy, nauseous, and unable to walk or sit much. I just had to sleep it off and pop pills like it was going out of style. If I didn't wake up a bit better today, my next trip would've been the hospital and I'm still considering going to the chiropractor. His insensitivity and constant sly "come-ons" are irritating the MESS out of me! I let him know that his comments were offensive to me and he apologized but I'm just tired of him right now. Exhibit A showed me that I really have little patience for men who haven't upgraded their game past throwing rocks at girls they like. Sorry boys, girls grow up into WOMEN-- ACT ACCORDINGLY!

NEXT WEEK: Bum-rider Sam

Friendly Disclaimer: UJ if you read this-Sorry, I like you as a person it's your "game" I can't stand.

Bliss

2009-05-14T20:47:00.001-07:00

I'm long overdue for a post but today I was so inspired to write on what defines wealth. My family and I have been staying with a friend who has a fabulous house in a gated community in South Florida. It's everyone's dream to live in such luxury and abundance but as much as enjoy it I realized that while this experience brought me joy, it couldn't touch one of my happiest memories of late. Honestly, being with a great group of friends playing Taboo and mafia increased my joy to such levels that it eclipsed vacationing in such grandeur. We laughed till we cried, teased each other, argued, and forged new bonds that could never equal to gated communities, private clubhouses, and Lexuses. These are all things, and honestly if you don't do meaningful acts with these things they will just be utensils with the promise of a greater life. Now, I do not deny that there is a certain esteem and ease that comes with living in wealth but making that what drives you just sets you up for a huge disappointment. You'll have the finest utensils in the world but no one meaningful to share it with, no rich human experiences to cherish, no beauty to fill your life. We are relational creatures so the next time you're killing yourself to aspire to reach something remember this-- will the end use of whatever I'm trying to gain make me truly happy? Will it enrich my human experience that I will live to be better? If not, don't kill yourself over it. Just enjoy that humble meal in your small apartment instead of brooding with discontent over it's lack of storage. See the beauty in your humility, and revel in it. So many envy to have such meaning in their lives but lack the courage to admit it. Do crazy things, live like you were dying, and remember:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
— Mark Twain

Toodles & God bless,

Christie

4 ways to lighten your PMS

2009-05-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, I have months where I turn into a "green-eyed" monster flying-off-the-hinges at one point or breaking out in tears the next. This is all is due to our drastic drop in Estrogen days before the onset of our period. Instead of hibernation, buckets of chocolate icecream, or acting like the bride of chuckie to your loved ones there's actually a couple of steps you can take to lighten your symptoms. They're very simple steps and mostly nature-inspired.

1. You are what you eat.
I was having severe cramps and just felt that my strength was ebbing away. However, I realized that when I ate certain foods and drank certain things that my periods were so much lighter and easier.

Foods to add to the list: Omega-3's do wonders for your body so incorporate Flax-seeds (oil, pills),tuna, salmon. Beta-carotene, add some more carrots to your salads, garnish your rice with shredded carrots. Bananas, probiotic yogurt (to help regulate your digestion system), complex carbohydrates like whole-wheat breads, cereals and fruits which can help increase seratonin levels (your happy hormones!). Beans are full of protein that will do you a world of good! So get yourself your fav Mexican food. Get your Zinc in and Folic Acid by popping in some vitamin pills.

2. Take preventative aim against severe cramps.
A natural way to get rid of cramps and relax your uterus muscle is to add some ginger to warm milk. Warm up some milk and cut up some fresh ginger (canned ginger) or add a couple of table spoons of ginger powder to the milk and let it lightly boil. Pour into your favorite mug and drink. In a half hour you'll be feeling pretty chipper! This recipe is an oldie I got from my mom :-) that works EVERY time!

No ginger? No problem! Take one or two pills of ibuprofen starting two to three days before your worst period days. It helps prevent blood clots which are the major cause of your cramps.

3. Drink to your health
A very easy way to get more nutrients and vitamins in is by drinking V8 multi-vitamin juice (pick ones w/o high fructose corn syrup) or whatever other brands of fruit juices mixed with vegetable juice. Honestly, one of the best things that I ever did to help my PMS symptoms.

4. Do some yoga or Pilates stretches
There are different beneficial poses "asanas" that help increase bloodflow, muscle stretching, and relaxation. Here's some links for some recommended asanas http://bitly.com/2mlaEQ & http://bitly.com/oJl3H

Want to read more on how your hormones influence you week by week? Marie Claire has a great article called "Your Life in Hormones". Read it here--> http://bitly.com/hDHOH
http://www.fitsugar.com/1054411

Green your Margarita!

2009-05-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I found a yummy recipe for creating an organic margarita. I'm anxious to try it soon being the organic health nut that I am. According to Elizabeth Seward of Planet Green (Discover channel) "Not only did this margarita taste awesome, but I would argue that it was over all more satisfying because I knew I was putting healthy ingredients into my body."

Organic Margarita Recipe

1.5 ounces of tequila (4 Copas makes organic tequila you can use.)
1/2 ounce of pure organic acai
3/4 ounce of organic agave nectar
1/2 ounce of organic egg white
1 organic lime, squeezed

Shake until metal shaker is frosted and then strain into a chilled glass. Enjoy!

Originally from Planet Green http://bitly.com/8hmvs
Image by Getty Images

Dating 301

2009-04-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

I'm about to impart on you the most sage relationship advice my dad gave me came a couple of days ago as I frantically called him about a boyfriend of a best friend situation. My dad is full of golden nuggets of wisdom about relationships and marriage. He's been married to my mom for 25 years and they've been through hell and back but they're still at it. So yeah..back to his advice..he was like "Christie, let me tell you something. In my fifty-four years (gotta assert the wisdom lol).. Ya marry a person with baggage thinkin' they goin to get better." Pause..I'm like okay. He resumes "NO, they ONLY GET WORSE with time and get MORE baggage as they get old on ya". ROFL..now by this time I was like *insert Mom here* We both love her but God help us when she decides to pull one of those mad black woman acts on our behinds. So yes, I took MUCH heed to his advice. I once read somewhere "Men marry women hoping they'll never change" and "Women marry men in the hope of the man they could be". Well, ain' gon be that fool! As they say back on my island--not even a donkey knocks its head twice on the same rock so I will take it to heart and put the foolishness of changing a man to rest, no actually throwing it in hell, burning it, and burying it 100 feet deep.

Toodles..*as I'm grabbing my shovel*

The powers that be

2009-04-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well... After wrestling with a suspicious "cold" for the past weekend I have learned something very valuable! Do NOT underestimate the power of pollen and other allergens. It all started Wednesday when my throat was acting up and I was getting a bit more phlegm than usual.I was like...hmm..must be some reaction to the drastic weather change but no big deal. Ignore.
MISTAKE NUMBER 1: Ignoring signs of your body
I go along looking forward to a super JAMPACKED weekend full of fun, activism and adventures!Friday comes, I'm coughing a lot so I decide to take a Mucinex to break up my phlegm so I can get better.
MISTAKE NUMBER 2: Taking Mucinex and mixing it with an immune booster.
I take it maybe an hour to forty-five minutes before I'm about to go out well when I get to the Metro I'm high as a kite. Feeling woozy and a little to close to the tiles but hey..me canceling on fun with friends..HECK NO!! The fun must go on! So, we have a fun evening. I'm high of meds and my crazy friend is supertired so her restrictions on her actions are ... lacking to say the least. It all amounts to a hysterical night with video documentation of some of our craziness. BUT OO NOOO...One of my guyfriends who was out with us was kind enough to bring me home since I wasn't in the most coherent state lol. And then the evening takes a turn for the worst. I have an allergic reaction to the medication I took. I start spazzing out, all my senses start firing, hot, cold, feeling sick, digestion system feeling out of whack, feeling about to pass out..and the list goes on. Thank God, the guy was nice and he was very attentive and got me home safe while keeping a list of hospitals in the back of his head.

All this to say: DO NOT MIX stuff! It might seem harmless but by the reaction I had. I learned a good lesson. I rode the effects out the whole night. Second, I checked with my nurse friend and she cautioned to check expiration dates on even your OTC medications. And, lastly I discovered on Monday after spending two miserable days in bed missing my kayaking trip among other things which as you can sense I'm still a bit "bitter" about that this was all due to a bad case of allergies. As soon as I took Zyrtec I was back to my old self again! (At least for the most part)

So learn something from this "misadventure" down medication lane. If you're miserable (health-wise) right now, Check if you have allergies and don't ignore your body! It's what you live in and your most prized possession! Take care of it!

copyright picture Alex and Laila/ Getty Images

Learn10: Power up your language

2009-04-24T14:55:00.001-07:00

Want an easy fun way to learn a new language? Try Learn10.com! It's an innovative little online app that gives you ten fresh words in whatever language you use to learn everyday. You can get the words via Twitter and Facebook or you can go to the site. There's a premium edition too that gives you a few extra bells and whistles but honestly the FREE edition is fantastic. It even has the ability to let you test yourself and share with your other social networkers. Fun stuff! I'm brushing up on my Spanish. Now, you really don't have any excuse not to try learning a new language :-).

5 Songs I'm loving right now

2009-04-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

1. Laura Izibor "From my heart to Yours"
If you haven't heard from her yet, she's this old school Billie Holiday voice mixed with funky sounds. The result "happy music" that makes the soul smile!

2. Kelly Clarkson "I don't hookup"
Amen! Needs no more explanations than the title itself!

3. Ne-Yo "Part of the List"
Emotional, raw, and tender. Ne-yo at his best! Please check out the video. It definitely magnifies the song even further. The acting is totally on point plus I love the fact that it's shot in London.

4. Chrissete Michele "Epiphany"
Wise-up anthem realizing that she ain't putting up with that mess anymore! Love her voice and the treatment of the lyrics. Of course, it was written and produced by Ne-yo and his production company Stargate.

5. Kid Cudi "Day and Night"
The lyrics are melancholic; a poetic simplistic expression of someone's pain in the pursuit of peace. It just touches a deep level within you. Though the stoner seeks it in his white smoke..(sad face) it reminds you that everyone is just looking for peace. I found mine in forgiveness in Jesus not religion, and everyone has their journey to the point of peace. You just have the option of the choice.

Good Week

2009-04-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

Good week you all! Hope you had a great Easter weekend! I had a fantastic time with old and new friends. To start the week off, I thought I'd share some inspiring quotes.

"Whatever you think you can have, claim it, believe it, pray to God for it. It's His Kingdom and you're His child." -Canton Jones

"To seek validation from others is no better than letting someone else invalidate you. Remember that what someone else thinks of you is really more about them and their issues, not you and yours." -Seltzer

I put these quotes up to encourage you to go after whatever your passion/vision is this week, and not let anyone deter you however convincing their arguments may be.

Cheers to a Great Week,

Christie

got questions, comments, need advice? email me @ roomtobreathe07@gmail.com

Creative ways to land a job!

2009-04-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

This is for all of you who are looking for jobs through the traditional methods by going on Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com and other job boards. There are BETTER ways to land a job! Think about it, unemployment has jumped for 850k people to 12.5 million in the US. Most, if not all of these people are trying to get a job. The most advertised job boards tend to be the places they resort to. So, lots of competition for a "small" number of jobs. Then how do you separate yourself from the pack? -->GO VIRAL!!

My friends, if you don't have a Twitter account, GET ONE!! If you don't have Facebook, sign up!! And keep up with viral news!! Yes, it may be too much for some of you but bear with me. I get my news through Newser.com; which updates in a visual rolodex way with pictures and headlines. When you click on the pic you get a summary of the article plus the link to the full article. I highly recommend keeping up with the current headlines because that's how I landed on an article about tweeting (Twitter post) for jobs! From there, I clicked on hotlinks that brought me to rich sources of undiscovered jobs. So, follow these steps and get creative!!

Step 1: bookmark or just keep up with Newser.com for current headlines
Step 2: Open a Twitter account. Here's a link Twitter for Dummies if you want a more detailed breakdown. Register with Facebook if you don't have one!
Step 3: Start following people by asking your facebook friends if they have Twitter. Post your twitter link in your status and watch followers come to YOU!! Post your twitterlink on your blog, on your social network profiles, email signoff, on your business card, put in on your forehead. Hahahaha, ok too far. The more people you start getting, the bigger pool of potentials. You can use Twittersearch to find people according to a topic but I've found these following services to be the most useful.

Wefollow.com : find people to follow according to your interest. You can even find Ellen Degeneres twitter page this way.

Twibs.com : Browse 8,823 twitter businesses and connect with professionals that will refer you in the right way. I got SOO much useful information by following people in my profession which is marketing. So if you're in marketing, hit me up on the twitter.

Small Business Search Marketing blog compiled a very long list of industry execs with twitter accounts. Find your industry, follow some execs and make some interesting comments back. Don't tweet them with..I need a job...please give me one..or I'm the best thing since sliced cheese. Dialogue over what they're talking about and contribute useful ideas. You never know what might happen! DEVELOP RELATIONSHIPS!! This is the key to this new job market landscape.

Step 4: Blog about what you're going through, write notes on facebook. People tend to read things that include interesting info with a sense of humor. So do that!

Step 5: LINKUP! One of the GEMS I found from Twibs.com for jobs is Linkup.com!! They are a fantastic online job board that keeps ONLY CURRENT job openings, no scam/fake jobs (yeah finance assistant my rear), and the great thing about them is that they collect jobs STRAIGHT from the source! Which means tons of unadvertised job openings!

Step 6: Apply, apply, apply! Keep your head up and know that you aren't alone. There's 12.5 million of us. For an encouraging read on being creative, read this Forbes article!

Godspeed yall!! Feel free to hit me up and let me know how things are going with you and the job market or with any other useful suggestions. http://twitter.com/ciqua

Turkey Penne

2009-04-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

So I made some yummy Turkey Penne today and thought it a nice idea to share the recipe. I'm all about keeping things simple a.k.a recession-friendly so you won't need many ingredients or fancy spices to make this.

Turkey Penne Recipe

What you need for a pan-sized amount (feeds 3-4)

- 1/3 of packaged Ground Turkey
- 2 cups of Penne Pasta
- 1/4 minced garlic
- chopped onions
- 1 finely chopped celery stalk
- 1 cup of Sharp Cheddar Cheese (or whatever cheese you have)
- all-seasoning
- 1 tbsp of butter

optional

2 tablespoons of Teriyaki sauce
1 tbsp of Salsa con Queso (if you only have cheese dip you can substitute the cheese for cheese dip)

Preparations

Penne:
While you are preparing the ground turkey put a small pan of water with the penne to a boil for 3-5 minutes. Poke the penne and if you its moist then turn the burner off. Drain the pasta with cold water.

Turkey:
Heat up the pan at medium heat and melt the butter. Fry the chopped celery, garlic and onions light brown. Bring the heat down a bit and add the ground turkey. Brown the turkey. Add a couple of dashes (be careful not to make it too salty) of all-seasoning and the teriyaki sauce. Stir the turkey mix well and break the bigger pieces of the turkey up (it likes to clump up).
Now add the penne in and mix well. Add another dash or two of all-seasoning to give the penne some flavor. Finally garnish the dish with the cheese and add in the cheese salsa if you decided to use it in the recipe. Mix well and let the cheese melt and SERVE! Yummy!

Happy eating!

Products I'm enjoying right now

2009-04-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

1. Suave Peabody Shower Gel
Cheap and delicious smelling; this shower gel gives you an invigorating shower without drying out your skin like most shower gels.
2. Supercook.com
Fantastic resource to get your recession cook on! I'm a firm believer now that the products in the back of your cabinet/fridge can yield some of the most yummiest dishes. Supercook allows you to search for recipes according to the ingredients you have. Fabulous!
3. Onima Natural Beauty Lip Balm
Derived from Aloe plants on the small eco-friendly island of Bonaire. This lip balm is fantastic for moisturizing and reviving dry, cracked, chapped lips.
4. Dream Curls ™ Curl Perfecting Spray
Like the package states; it transforms wilted dry curls into sexy swerves. What I love about the spray is that it doesn't contain alcohol, isn't greasy, and leaves my hair smelling fresh and pretty. My curls loved it!
5. Arm and Hammer Natural Essentials Unscented Deodorant
I LOVE IT! Why my strong proclamation of love to this product? I've been looking for an affordable (stress on the affordable) all-natural deodorant. When I saw this in my local grocery store I was delighted to read that the deodorant is aluminum-free, paraben-free and provides natural protection against odor by combining its namesake Arm & Hammer baking soda plus Coriander, Rosemary oil and other natural derivitaves. The deodorant glides on nicely, doesn't leave any marks, and has a nice natural smell.

Stay posted for more Fav products. Have any recommendations? Send me an email at roomtobreathe07@gmail.com

Fit & Fab!

2009-03-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

For all my asana loving babes, I have to introduce you to my au courant crush Doce Vida Fitness wear. The line is sexy and made out of quality material! Finally, you can have stylish workout wear. Doce Vida has been featured in numerous magazines such as Self, Fitness Magazine, and Prevention. I'm particularly in love with their Copacabana Capri retailing for $68. Price a bit too steep for ya? Get a budget-friendly version from Old Navy's new activewear line for only $16.50. Happy, fit and smart!

Doce Vida $68
Old Navy $16.50

SPRING AWAKE!

2009-03-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

AAAh...the snow covers are off our windows, the air slightly warmer, and skirts coming out of the closet. It is time for SPRING!! It's such an exciting switch in the year when the cherry blossoms come out and the sun is out and it ACTUALLY feels warm. Makes me feel all warm and goeey inside walking outside...hahahah..I'm such a sucker for nature.

Anyway I have a bunch of discoveries that I want to share with all of you!! Excitement is in the air!

Music
First off, Sunday I went to one of the best live concerts ever! Estelle with Ryan Leslie! Now, if you don't know who Ryan Leslie is...you are about to KNOW! He's the producer behind Cassie and was an intern for the Diddyness...(no comment). He has a very great sound that is a fusion of contemporary hip hop with old school music. Good thing is that he's a Harvard grad doing his thing and climbing up in the music world. He seems to have to a bright and creative future ahead of him. Estelle, she was ...hahahha..fab..honest and FUN!! That concert was a party basically! I enjoyed myself a lot! If you are in the DC area--hit up the 9:30 club! They have great artists performing!! Next month--Jhud and Robin Thicke is in the area (not at the 9:30 club), so get your tickets EARLY!!

Fashion
Now that Spring is in the air, you're wardrobe may want to be refreshed but keeping it recessionista style! Now girl...if I didn't see the price on these pieces I'm about to showcase you'd think it be straight from the catwalk with those daggone CATWALK prices walking your hard earned dough right out of the bank. But NO WORRIES!! It's all H&M which did an incredible job this Spring to do the trends right at FANTASTIC Recessionista prices! I'm wanting to cop that white $12.90 top.

Press
Ok, I'd like to join with the millions of people mourning the death of the incredible Natasha Richardson. Such an unexpected and tragic loss and my deepest condolences to first and foremost her family and all the ones who knew her personally. You all are in my prayers. May God give grant you comfort during these very very hard times.

On a lighter note though, I burst with excitement at three magnificent strong beautiful successful black women who appear on the cover of April 09's cover. Venus, Iman and Taraji look magnificent!! Congrats ladies! Please cop that magazine off the newsstands quick! The content is even more fabulous as they cover relationship advice, SOUND financial advice and FABULOUS Fashion spreads!! ESSENCE is KILLING IT!! Worth every penny!

Well, that's it for right now!! Of course, I have TONS more to share but till next time ;-) which is soon! Thanks for reading!! I will try to keep posting more regurarly and doing a cover all the bases post every week!

Stay Fabulous,

Christie
Jesus saves!

I leave you with a sampling of Ryan Leslie's incredible talent

How It Was Supposed To Be (Military Version) from Ryan Leslie on Vimeo.

Fall Fashion W 09 highlights

2009-02-18T22:54:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to wet your appetites with some of the highlights of fashion week for me. The clothes were more demure with zipper accents, well tailored skinnies, romantic ruffles, pops of color and impeccable tailoring (for the most part- saw some atrocious fits on models though).

Stay Fabulous ..

Christie

P.S: Fall trend discussion is soon to follow! No worries :-)

Style & Grace 09

2009-02-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been awhile since I've written a new post but I'm back again!

This time I intend to write more regularly again. Keeping you posted on new tidbits and helping you develop your own personal style. Recently, the realization dawned on me that I was sometimes trying too hard to be "in" fashion instead of fashion being "in" with with me.

As the new "icon" of first lady fashion Michelle Obama put it in her interview with Andre Teleon of Vogue in the March 2009 issue.

"First and foremost, I wear what I love. That's what women have to focus on: what makes them happy and what makes them feel comfortable and beautiful. If I can have any impact, I want women to feel good about themselves and have fun with fashion ."

That's my mission too this year with life and this blog. Being comfortable in your own skin and expression of style whatever it may be. Doing it with style and grace while being true to yourself and not some hoitsy toitsy style editor who's mostly out of touch with mainstream America. Just check out what some think is recession chic- "cheap wedges that cost ONLY $200-$300 in the latest magazines--hahahah they really don't know.

Anyway, Stay Fabulous and till my next post discussing Fall 09 trends!

yours truly,

Christie :-)

P.S: check out the interview with first lady Obama here http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/2009_March_Michelle_Obama/

Rihanna's look for WAY LESS

2008-06-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

Rihanna sported this cute spring dress and tank combination while shopping at Fred Segal in West Hollywood on February 2oth, 2008. Well GREAT NEWS for us cheap chic fashionistas! F21 has a copoff for only $ 9.50 as part of their Brilliant Buys. Combine this dress with one of their five bucks tanks and you have Rih's look for about 15 bucks!! Isn't that insane?! Hurry, because I know F21 online will sellout soon.

Here's the look.

SKIRTED!!

2008-06-26T20:42:00.000-07:00

Aww the lazy days of summer! Doesn't necessarily mean get lazy with your wardrobe. Here are some bonafide hits for your summer closet that are chic, easy to wear, and most of all pretty cheap. Lets get SKIRTED!!

Skirts are a hit this summer, from bold prints, to elegant pleaths, to new shapes. There's something in there for you ladies. Here are some laid back yet chic affordable looks to get you inspired. And it's all from F21!! so no worries.

2008-06-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

My Style Profile courtesy of Spiegel

I must say they are quite accurate.

Your Signature Style is: Understated Elegance

Taste may be acquired for most people, but you've always had it. You just know when something works. Whether it's the way you dress or the way you entertain, you're comfortable with who you are and it shows. You work quietly at doing things well and are never satisfied until you get it "right". The first question you ask when you choose something is "how well is it made?" Your friends think you're a perfectionist. Is there anything wrong with that? Not in your world.v

Got Mint?

2008-04-09T11:40:00.000-07:00

Good Wednesday to all,

I just want to introduce you all to Mint.com!! I'm a believer in budgeting and having things in your household in order. A true fashionista is smart, savvy and of course ridiculously good looking (lol).Now it can be hard to keep track of all your expenses and cashflow so it's INSANELY great news that there's a service out there that does it ALL for you and looks flawless doing it.

When you register you add in all your credit/ debit card accounts and it will securely connect with your bank to obtain all your transactions. Mint works with over 2700 banks which ensures that nearly all of us will be covered. After that it will update your balance everyday so you will always have an accurate account of what financial state you're in.

PLUS it automatically categorizes your expenses so you can see EXACTLY how much is going into what category! I LOVE and hated this feature! Of course the biggest expense was shopping and it put it in perspective. Now I have budgets set up and Mint will automatically send me an email and text to let me know if I went over. Every Friday I get a fresh statement.. woo wee.

There's lovely pie charts, graphs and you can compare your expenditures to the national or a particular city average. (My shopping expenditures were still higher than the average --lol--sadness--lol).

I just HIGHLY recommend doing this!! It is such an eye opener and you can save money while at it. Mint will search for savings for you and so much more! So what do you have to lose?? It's free!!

So Get Minty yall!!

2008-04-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MONDAY!!

Some Outfits to Sizzle your Monday up, EnJOY!! My ABSOLUTE FAVORITES so far!

P.S: Iced Caramel Coffee @ McDonalds ROCKS!! (can't believe it but it's true and CHEAP--LOVE IT)

Update

2008-04-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

Spring Update

Wow, I haven't posted in a HOT minute. With the assistance of Polyvore I've made different sets of must-have accessories and clothing but haven't posted them yet. Guess this is what senior year in college does to you. I've forgotten to post a lot of cute stuff that I've seen lately.

I've been in a Safari\Ethnic mood for awhile so I rounded up a bunch of my fave accessories. Some are cheap and others more high end.

Details can be found by just clicking on the arrangement.

Also there has been some CRAZY sales going on at E.L.F. cosmetics. This cosmetics brand comes highly recommended by many well-known magazines and is used by different celebrities. Since they have been acquired by a MAJOR department store their name will change on the product. Hence a HUGE BLOWOUT on all their cosmetics with the name E.L.F. on it. EVERYTHING is $1 DOLLAR!! Their make-up, brushes, top-notch nail polish and so much more (only bath & mineral make-up is priced a bit higher). E.L.F. also provides you with TONS of coupons so keep a lookout!!

Finally I leave you with one of my favorite concoctions of clothes called "U-Ropa" which encompasses a punky European yet classy feel. Hope you like it!

2008-02-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

Spring Starters

Spring is nearly upon us, and I want to leave you with some cute & affordable pieces to jump start
your wardrobe.

Remember to keep a look out for waterpaint style print, safari prints/themes and some high heels!

2008-02-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

Good Morning!!

So from the pictures that I saw on MSN of the Indie SPIRIT Awards Anjolina Jolie is definitely preggers. Wow, they weren't kidding about expanding the brood like the Beverly hills clan but cool since hey, not many people do that anymore ESPECIALLY celebrities.

I'm up..yay!! Have some posters to make about Benin, a country in West Africa, I'm pretty excited since I have a dope concept! aahh, and I'm just sitting and "assisting" in INFT (comp basics) class.

Anyway I'm in a big cocktail ring, skinny black jeans, oversized t-shirt, and blazer kind of mood!
Now if I only had all of that within my closet though my closet is cramped for space and starting pile a little bit over on my roommate's side but you never feel like you have enough clothes. How weird!

Just wanted to post since I'm waiting for this class to end and for FOOD!

Stylistically yours,

Bonichiqua

Hello LATE New Year!

2008-02-24T11:15:00.001-08:00

Hello, Happy LATE New Year!

Wow, I haven't posted in a long time but I am back to STAY!!
I've had so many discoveries in fashion and the internet that I am itching to share with you. So, I'm jamming to Chris Brown's song "With You" which is too cute, and one of those ear itching songs that you love for a while and ditch after your sick of it. While taking a Dr. Phil personality test on Facebook (this should be interesting--Britney incident anyone?) since people been annoying me with those app requests for this thing.

First off--The Internet is a MASSIVE Fashion treasure trove! It is more than MSN, Facebook, Yahoo, MySpace and doggone whatever people waste their times on these days! It's so weird that we have such huge access to information but many people stay confined to their little internet space.

So I'm about to enlighten some of yall with some of my new fav finds on the net

1. For all you fashion & beauty lovers and women period you should join TEAMSUGAR.COM!! It's a great community filled with the things that matter the most to you! You can join different groups and ask for help to find a certain outfit for a cheaper price, or something you like! There are so many like-minded ones over in the bustling team sugar land with advice, blogs, pictures, the latest news etc.. Join and add me as friend :-)

-second of all--> Alicia Keys is killin' it with her new album (this isn't my next point by the way lol) I love her single "Like You'll Never See Me Again". My BFF&FF and I Belt it out in the car like we're in the middle of losing a boyfriend and we are as single as can be (LOL)!

2. TheYBF.com-- CRACKS ME UP!! My roommate sometimes must wonder what the mess is wrong with me laughing at the comp screen at 2 am in the morning. This site covers mostly black celebrities and news that you don't typically here in the mainstream press. It's quite interesting and straightforward--quite refreshing I must say.

3. DailyCandy.com--For interesting fashion, food and fun finds in Chicago, Atlanta, DC, NY, LA and other big metropolises. You can subscribe to daily emails that give you delightfully unique finds in your area.

4. Lovelymagazine.com-2007 Fabbie nominated blog that is an online fashion magazine! Now fashionistas I know some of you might be like-mweh... But it truely is a hot mag full of surprises! Just hop on over, it's just a click a way!

5. My last link for this post is Supercook.com which lets you fill in an ingredient and finds recipes accordingly. The site has a clean layout and is very easy to navigate! Go WEB 2.0! (this will be another post).

Now unto the clothes

*Hold on--Alicia's album itself is HOT! Jammin' music to write to and the song "Go Ahead" yup say that girl!! Go to free.napster.com to give it a complete listen.

OK yes now unto the clothes:

I start this year with a Navy/Blue Theme since it is a Spring and HOT color for Fall 08 (Longevity baby!)

1. Chole Silk Satin Dress $ 139 from outlets-online.net
2. Woven Colorblock Dress $ 22.80 forever21.com
3. Pleated Satin Dress $ 24.80 forever21.com
4. Lynne Blouse $17.80 forever21.com (hottest blouse style for the Spring)
5. Leaf Hinge Bangle $ 6.80 forever21.com

More to come soon!

Jolie for Le Holidays!

2007-12-21T13:56:00.000-08:00

Ok today on the fashion platter:

1. Lace Pleat Extender slip $ 28.00 from www.shadeclothing.com

Layer the new extender slip under any skirt or dress to give you an extra few inches in length.

The bodice of the extender slips are made from a stretchy nylon/spandex that gently slims the waist and hips. No-elastic waist band gives you a seamless look underneath dresses and skirts.

2. Le Ruffle Coat $ 99.99 from www.modcloth.com

Made by Tulle in soft, lightweight wool, this dreamy trench will be your new go-to piece. Full sleeves, a standing collar, and a big ruffle at the bottom all add up to a ladylike shape that is also timelessly cool.

3. Sabrina Dress $39.99 from www.modcloth.com

Another cute shift dress from modcloth. Very chic and versatile thickly woven metallic tweed.
Just in time for the holidays!

4. Very classic V-neck style vest $14.99 from shadeclothing

The price has been lowered from $21.50 to $14.99 and I'm always looking for versatile simple pieces for work clothes and such!

5. Chic mini jacket from TwelvebyTwelve

So cute and would look lovely on the new gathered tube dress they're offering for chump
change! 20 bucks!

They're out of the mini jacket online but you can certainly try the stores.

6. Modernist Dress $ 39.99 from modcloth.com

Only 1 left in stock!!

Another cute minidress from our retro-indie friends! tres chic and jolie! :-)

7. Silver gathered tube dress ONLY $ 19.80

Isn't this insane!! Just in time for all those Christmas parties and such

8. Draped Cawl Neck tunic $19.80

Very classy and niveau riche (I will post pics of my inspiration outfit later!)

9. Shelley Heel Pumps $ 18.80

Throwback!! Love the heels!! and the price is nice too!

10. Asos metallic ballet flats $20.17 from www.asos.com

Quite the cheap steal! hurry on over...

Those were my 10 favorite things for now!! It's always a changin' with fashion!

FOREVER FLY

2007-12-18T16:31:00.001-08:00

Ok here's the deal, Forever21 and TwelvebyTwelve are having a nice deal on your next Christmas shopping spree. Free shipping on orders of $75 and $5 for express shipping! Now if that isn't fabulous I don't know what is. For the cheap chic fashionistas this is welcome news ( uhm like me!) Here are some fantastic pieces that are even on sale, so you can save even more when you are getting free shipping!

On the left: Colorblock Jersey Dress w/ hoodie $ 34.00 (HOTNESS)

Here's a sampling of some fantastic cheap chic pieces

1. Modern Wool dress $ 34.00

2. Dandy Tunic dress $29.00

3. Royale Draped tunic $ 34.00

4. Vintage Bomber $ 22.80

5. Cindy Swing Jacket $ 26.24

6. Gathered Tunic $ 18.24

7. Enya tunic $ 18.24

Cheeky Chique

2007-12-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

So my obsession with Asian style continues...I've been scouting far and wide for quality fashion for low prices and my search led me to Asian designers in particular Korean designers. The clothes in US dollars aren't cheap but in comparison to designer fashion and quality they are.
Well I love love the website www.yesstyle.com. I love the whole baggy movement with lace peekabo and boots that's so dominant in their trends. They have some refreshing twists on trend staples!

here's some pieces:

But I don't feel like going through the whole hassle of ordering and waiting for it to get here and all that! So, I was inspired by all the layering I saw and made an cheekily chic dress for some chump change! I like making outfits and not just giving you some random top I found here and there! Hope you like!! Feel free to leave feedback!

www.Forever 21.com $9.50

www.OldNavy.com $19.75

www.OldNavy.com $39.50

For some added pizazz add a dash of accessories:

Forever21.com boots $22.80 Earrings: $3.80

Smitten

2007-12-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

1. Rose Dove $249
2. The Cloche $239

So I am completely into hats! It is one of my signatures. Usually I pick one from one of my fav stores like H&M but these are too delicious! I am completely smitten and wouldn't mind them for Christmas. Just adds the extra punch to your outfits.